Page 44 of Bossy Bride: Emma and Jesse

I’m a little bit stressed about the time factor. Because this is fun and crazy and all, but my almost-mother-in-law will not forgive me if I don’t deliver her daughter for Christmas Eve dinner.

But then Steve takes another tight corner and Emma slides into me. And I make the most of the opportunity by kissing her. It’s a nice, soft, easy kiss that immediately relaxes me. I let all the worry go and just trust in… fate, I guess. Trust that the universe knows what it’s doing and this day will be perfect.

He slams on the brakes and we crash together, laughing. OK, so this whole thing is pretty… eh, trashy? Maybe? But… it is fun. I kinda feel like this is the plot of the next Christmas Vacation movie. It has a decent setup for that, for sure.

The van door swings open and an older woman with short gray hair smiles brightly at us. “Welcome to the New York, New York Hotel and Casino! Please come with me for your fabulous Fingers Wedding experience!”

Emma takes a deep breath. “Ready?”

And you know what?

I am ready.

So ready to make this woman my wife.

I grab her hand and help her out of the van. The greeter says, “Follow me, please. We have to hurry. The ceremony is about to start.”

Oh, good. I don’t want to rush us or anything. But we really don’t have a lot of time here. We walk fast and Greeter Grandma leads us past the reception desk and over to the elevators. We get in, go up to the second floor, and then head on over to the Big Apple Coaster.

There’s a wedding party already there. Bride, groom, etc, etc. Everybody chatting and excited about the big upcoming moment. But no one else. It’s only then that I notice the coaster isn’t even open yet. This is all being done before operating hours.

Emma squeezes my hand. “Oh, my God. I’m nervous. Are you nervous?”

“Little bit,” I admit. But then I look at her and shake my head. “Nah. I’m not nervous. I can’t wait.”

Grandma and one of the coaster workers walk over to the wedding party and a hushed, but heated discussion starts.

“What’s going on?” Emma asks.

“I dunno.”

Then all of them look over at us. Several people are frowning.

“Shit, what’s happening, Jesse?”

But then it’s pretty clear what’s happening. Because a strap of cash appears in Grandma’s hand. She waves it in front of the bride and groom and their annoyed expressions turn to surprise.

They look at us again, then down at the money, then at each other.

The bride takes the neat strap of cash into her hand, which I can deduce is probably either five thousand dollars, if the notes are fifties, or ten thousand dollars, if the notes are hundreds.

Either way, it’s a lot of tax-free cash and I suddenly wonder how much Fingers charges for his fantasy weddings.

Clarence still has my credit card.

But I don’t have any more time to think about that because the bride nods, stuffs the strap into her bra, and Grandma turns and waves us forward.

“OK, Fugosi family wedding party!” an organizer shouts. “We’re this way! Follow me!”

I glance at Grandma, but she’s already walking off.

“What do we do?” Emma asks.

“Uh… follow the wedding party, I guess.”

So that’s what we do. We follow them back to the coaster line-up and end up on the station platform. The Fugosis are being ushered into the waiting train that’s painted up to look like a yellow cab in New York City, bride and groom in the front car, and then a worker points to us and the seat directly behind the bride and groom.

“Here goes nothing,” Emma squeals, as she climbs in and takes a seat.