Page 53 of Bossy Bride: Emma and Jesse

“True,” I say. “So…” I glance at the skydiving pictures all around me. “Wanna jump out of a plane with me?”

“I do,” she squeals.

“Perfect,” Sven booms. “OK. Let’s get you out of those pirate clothes and into some jumpsuits.”

“Wait,” Emma says. “What about my dress?”

Sven makes one of those looks. Not one that says should-we-shouldn’t-we, but one that says, Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “I’m afraid… the dress isn’t ready yet.”

“Nooooo,” Emma pouts. “I need the dress.”

Sven shrugs. “Sorry. But don’t worry. Fingers will make it right when the final bill comes in.”

And that has me wondering… I wonder what that final bill will look like? We’ve got to be pushing a hundred grand at this point. After that Treasure Island bribe? Yeah. This is a pretty pricey wedding day and we’re not even married yet.

I turn to Emma. “I know you’re disappointed, but we could be stuck here. We’re clearly not going to make it home in time for dinner. So we should just… do this, right?”

She sighs, heavily.

“I’ll make it up to you, Emma. I promise. We’ll have the mean Russian lady ship your dress and we’ll have another ridiculous wedding anywhere you want.”

She leans into me. “OK.” Then she tilts her head up and her eyes catch mine. “I love you.”

“God, I love you too.” I place my hand on her cheek as I lean down to kiss her lips. “The thought of jumping out of a plane kinda terrifies me. But not because I’m afraid I’ll get hurt or die.” I look up at Sven. “This is safe, right? Because if my wife gets hurt, I will not let that go.”

“Very safe, Mr. Boston. I promise you. We have completed over five hundred tandem jumps over the past ten years with a perfect safety record. We will be with you the entire time and you’ll each have a headset to hear the captain of the plane as he recites the marriage rites.”

I point at Emma. “I knew captains could marry people.”

“Follow me and we’ll get you situated in your jumpsuits and gear.”

Once we change out of our pirate clothes and put on our jumpsuits, the crew goes over the tandem harness we’ll be strapped into. It would be better if Emma and I could be together for the jump, but apparently there’s rules about that and you have to take some kind of training course if you want to jump alone.

But the crew have assured us that they will maneuver us close enough to briefly hold hands and if we get the timing right, we can do that in the moment we say ‘I do.’ Then we’ll drift apart, the chutes will be released, and we’ll be back on the ground in about twenty seconds.

And actually, if you add up the whole thing from start to finish, we should be done by one thirty and if Jessica can find our charter, we could be back in Key West to open presents at midnight.

Not a bad way to spend twenty-four hours of your life.

Or your wedding day, for that matter.

Once we’re in the plane, Sven gives us our helmet headsets and does a mic check to make sure we can all hear each other. We can. Sounds pretty crisp and clear, if you ask me. And even though skydiving would’ve been my last choice off the crazy Vegas wedding menu, I’m pretty excited about it.

Emma and I buckle into our jump seats near the door of the plane and hold hands. “Are you nervous?” I ask.

She sucks in a deep breath and nods. “I am. But it’s the good kind of nervous. Not wedding-day jitters.”

“Ha. We’ve been through this twice now. One more and we’ll overtake Miles in the wedding department.”

“Speaking of Miles, there has to be a way to contact him.”

“Well, there’s the map.”

“The crazy poker game map?” She rolls her eyes.

“I’m telling you, Emma. He told me a whole story about how he grew up in the Mob.”

“A story. That’s all it was.”