Page 11 of Alonzo

I really said that to her. I opened the vault. She got me drunk, I opened the vault, and she found a fucking clue!

“Tara?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you OK?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Are you sure? You don’t look OK. In fact, you look like you might throw up.”

“Nope. I’m good. I just forgot to eat lunch today.”

“You were too busy fucking yourself with your fingers in the bathroom, that’s why.”

“Yup. That’s why. But…” I glance down at my wrist. Even though I’m not wearing a watch. “Welp. I better get going. Lunch to eat, and…”

Belinda blinks at me, waiting for me to tick off all the imaginary things I need to get doing.

“Lonnie. We’re talking again tonight.”

She sticks her finger down her throat and mock-gags.

“Hey, don’t knock it until you try it. I’ll ask him tonight if he has a brother.”

“Oh, goodie!” She claps her hands. “We can double down on your imaginary dates!”

“Lonnie might not be a great catch or anything, but he’s got things going for him.”

Belinda makes a face of I’m-not-convinced. “Like what?”

“He’s good-looking.”

“Show me a pic.”

“No.”

“Why? Because he’s fugly?”

“He’s not fugly. Not at all. He’s not even ugly. He’s… I dunno. Intriguing.”

“Intriguing?” She guffaws. “That has nothing to do with his looks, Tare.”

His looks are… confusing. One moment he’s totally rocking that nerd accountant thing. But then something about him will change. This only happens during a FaceTime date. He’ll laugh. Or make an expression. And everything about him changes. Just a little. Just enough to make me like him more, actually.

It’s weird.

But I don’t want to bring this up to Belinda because she’s already suspicious. She thinks he’s full of shit. But why would anyone lie about the life he has? He’s in a dead-end job as an accountant for some random charter service captain called Pete over on Sugarloaf Key in the Florida Keys. It’s nothing spectacular. It’s barely interesting, if I’m being honest. If a person was going to lie, they’d make up something good. Something cool.

But then… I’m totally lying about who I am. And my lie is pretty boring too. Who would want to be a librarian in Fort Collins, Colorado?

“Hello? Earth to Tara?”

“His looks are fine, Belinda. He’s not ugly.”

“So show me a pic.”

She has asked to see pics of Lonnie lots of times. And she’s always pumping me for information about him. Where does he live, what’s the name of his work, what’s his last name? Shit like that. But I’m not comfortable sharing this stuff with her. It’s the inner detective in me. Because if my best friend was phone-fucking some random guy I’d be all up that biz. I’d go looking for all kinds of reasons why she should stop. And I’m sure she would find plenty of them. All kinds of reasons why I should block this dude and never speak to him again.