Page 82 of Alonzo

“I’ll tell you what.” I take a deep breath and let it out. “I’ll seriously consider it. No. OK, listen. I love you. I want to get to know you better. I think I want to marry you, and have babies with you, and spend the rest of my life with you. So… give me a week to think about it.”

“Think about leaving your dangerously beautiful life behind?”

“Yeah.” I nod my head. “Yeah. It’s a fair ask, Tare. I’m more than happy to try to find a way.”

She closes her eyes and breathes deeply for a few moments. “This day is so fucking weird.”

“Should we be done with it?”

“Go back?”

“I’m ready if you are.”

“I’m so tired I’m actually thinking it might be easier to spend the night here.”

“Fuck that.” I get to my feet and extend my hand to her. She takes it and I pull her up in one smooth motion. “I have a little house, on a quiet street, and there’s a bed in that house calling us home.”

“Like a fucking siren song.”

We both laugh.

“Yeah,” I say. “Like a stupid fucking siren song.”

I row us back to the boat and she falls asleep on the bench seat next to me with her head on my shoulder as I navigate back to the marina. And then I carry her, piggyback style, the few blocks to my house.

We get in bed half naked, her only wearing a t-shirt and me only wearing sweat shorts, and snuggle into each other’s bodies like we’ve slept together in the same bed for thousands of years.

Her breathing goes soft and silent almost immediately. But I can’t sleep because I can’t stop looking at her.

No. That’s not quite it.

I’m afraid to take my eyes off her.

I’m afraid she will disappear.

I want to tell her everything about me, not just the romanticized parts. Not just the myths. The real shit.

But Jesse’s confession the other day stops me. He showed Emma a part of himself and he almost lost her. My little sister’s strength and assertiveness is what got them their second chance. She believed in him and in her place at his side. She took charge and made it happen.

I’m afraid Tara will see through me and say, “You know what? Forget it, Lonnie. You’re just not worth all this trouble and consideration.”

And I can’t let that happen.

I need to keep my secret just a little longer.

Just long enough to convince Tara that I’m worth it.

I have to be up at five AM for a client so I don’t sleep at all. Just lie in my bed with Tara in my arms, thinking and over-thinking all the ways I might handle the precariousness of our relationship.

Then, just before the sun begins to rise, I get up, shower, and dress, looking at Tara in my bed as I pull a shirt over my head and make a decision.

I lean down and kiss her on the cheek. “Hey. Tara. I have to go to work.”

She turns over on her back, sleepily mumbling, “Hmm?”

“Don’t forget about Jesse.”

She tries to open her eyes. Fails. Hums a few more protests about the early hour, then seems to wake a little and tries again. “What?”