Page 56 of Tony

So I ravel myself back up and put on the brave face. Try to be as good a friend to her as she is to me. “You’re right, Tare. And thank you for the talk. What are you up to today?”

“Oh, my God. I’m such a good fisherwoman these days. I go out with Alonzo on his charters now on the weekends. And last weekend I caught a sailfish! Do you have any idea how hard it is to reel in a sailfish? And I did it all by myself. The next time you see me, I’m gonna show off my biceps. They’re cut from all my reeling.”

I chuckle, picturing Tara deep-sea fishing in a pencil skirt.

“We have two charters today. And we’re just about to leave—”

“I’ll let you go.”

“No, no. If you need to talk more, I’ll stay behind. I’ll spend the whole day with you instead.”

“No. That’s OK,” I say. But actually, it sounds really nice. Her life sounds nice. And there’s a part of me—maybe even a really big part of me—that wants to go home. That’s the part of Tony that’s confusing, I think. He’s not my one, as Tara puts it. That very well could be Vann. But like it or not, Tony is part of home. And I miss it. I can tell myself that I don’t, and that this life is just as good—better, even. But doesn’t everyone always wish they could go home?

I would never admit this to Tara, but I’m jealous of her and Alonzo. Not because he’s some great dude—he could be, but I never knew him well enough to have opinions on that.

I’m jealous of her because Alonzo comes with a team.

A whole family of people on his side. And that little street they all live on. It’s like… being surrounded by love. And now she’s a part of that. Hell, she’s more a part of Tony now than I ever was. And again, I don’t want Tony. I just want… what he represents.

Safety on all sides.

And she just walked into that by accident.

It’s almost… not fair.

“What are you doing today?” Tara asks.

“Work later,” I sigh. “Weekends are super busy. And Vic said I can use his studio for my own clients now. So he’s off on Monday. I’m hoping I get some walk-ins so my life can finally move forward and I can stop feeling like I’ll be sitting behind that cash register for ten more years.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah. It kinda is. Vic was really cool last night. Actually, everyone at the shop was really cool last night. I really thought I was going to lose my shit, but they held on to me tight and kept me from unraveling.”

“They’re good people.”

“They are.”

“Those brothers would definitely make good in-laws.”

“Oh, my God! I’m not capable of thinking about the M word at six AM, Tare!”

“Sorry.” She snorts. “But it’s true.”

I catch the sound of Alonzo calling for Tara two thousand miles away and take a hint. She has to go. And I have to go too. “Thank you,” I say. “I needed to hear your BFF advice this morning.”

“Any time, Belinda. You know that. You can call me any time.”

We say our goodbyes, promise to visit and talk more, and then end the call.

I sigh and walk over to the window. And then I run Vann’s whole grand gesture back in my head once more time.

Maybe Tara was right. Maybe I need to find a way to make Vann feel the same things about me that I feel for him right now? I just don’t know how to do that.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - TONY

A pounding on my door wakes me from a fitful, half-sleep dream world of chaotic visions leftover from a long ago time. I force one eye open, confused about where I am for a moment. Then yesterday comes rushing back and I smile lazily as the dreamy chaos is replaced with yesterday’s crazy Soshee adventure.

Wow. What a girl. And what luck to meet her when I came here for…