Page 120 of Lovely Darkness

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Donny?

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You remember, don’t you? You remember when he split you. He did that. He created me. He made us.

And then he took you away.

No. Oh. My. God. You’re not listening to me.

There is no you. You literally just told me you don’t exist.

Correct. It’s all you, Donny. Everything that’s happened, it’s all just you. That’s the cure. The truth. And as soon as you accept it, we can move on to other things.

What other things?

First, you need to agree that I never went anywhere. I’ve been here the whole time.

You just said you’re not real!

I did say that, didn’t I? I’m not real. I’m just you. But I’m the part of you that knows the truth. I’m the keeper of the truth because you couldn’t be trusted.

Is that it, then? My truth is just… I’m insane?

Insane? No, friend. You’re not insane. Not any more than the rest of us.

Us?

It’s a metaphor. Don’t worry. There aren’t twenty personalities hiding inside you, Donny. It’s just you. It’s always been just you.

Then how do you explain my memory lapses?

And the house of little blonde girls, and the mail, and the office at Duke. It’s kind of a mess, isn’t it? But that’s just because you think you’re two people, Donovan. And you’re not. You’re just one.

I don’t know about any blonde girls in a house.

Of course you don’t. You didn’t put them there. Carter did.

You just told me, like ten times, that he’s not real!

No. I said you’re not him. He’s real, all right. And he’s in charge of a lot of shit. Shit he tried to tell you about when you were in Wyoming with Ana. But you wouldn’t listen, would you? So steps had to be taken.

He killed her. He fucking killed her. The only woman—

Carter didn’t kill anyone. What the hell is wrong with you?

Wrong with me? You just said—

Stop talking and listen to me. You and Carter are two different people. He does his job, you do your job—

What is his job?

Oh, that’s above your pay grade at the moment. But don’t worry—the end is near. And that’s where all the answers are.

Then what is my job?

Well, your job was to get the fucking girl, Donny. Remember? Indie. Ringing any bells? Your job was to get Indie. And look what you did. Fourteen fucking years, man. Who takes fourteen fucking years to do one simple job?