Page 127 of Lovely Darkness

What is she saying?

What is she talking about?

Wendy is laughing and so is Nick. They fall onto the couch together. Kissing.

Kissing? I laugh too. Who the fuck wants to kiss at a time like this?

Wait a minute.

“What are we doing again?” I say it out loud and see the river of letters come from my own mouth. It’s in typewriter font. And then, the minute I think that, there’s little typewriter sounds too.

Then I’m laughing. And McKay’s laughing. The nurses are kissing.

I laugh harder, holding my stomach. Doc is barking orders, but they don’t make any sense. He’s saying, “Someone get that man an eggplant! Stat!”

I fall into the nearest chair, unable to make my legs work. And my eyes dart around. Looking at everyone.

So happy.

We’re so fuckin’ happy.

We should drink this shit every day.

I’m gonna give it to my wife, and my kids, and the cats—

And then… then… something is wrong.

Maggie is talking to Sasha. And Sasha is talking to Donovan. And Donovan has a syringe. He pokes Sasha with it. Her eyes flutter and I get up, rush over there, and catch her before she falls.

Except she doesn’t fall. And there’s no possible way in hell I can get out of this chair right now.

Besides. Sasha’s eyes go clear. She takes a deep breath. Shakes herself out of the stupor and smiles at Donovan. “Good job.”

Then he says, and I see every letter with perfect clarity, “You take care of Nick, I’ll take care of Indie.”

And then Sasha says, in that typewriter font, as she holds up another syringe, “I’ll meet you at the river in ten minutes.” Then her eyes meet mine and she puts a finger up to her lips. “Hush, Merc. Just hush.”

Ding! Carriage return. New line. New sentence.

Fuck that.

I’m dead.

Time passes. But I come back from it. Just for a moment.

Just long enough to see Indie, Nathan, Maggie, and Donovan leaving the house through the French doors near the pool and slipping into the woods.

Just long enough to hear Sasha talking to Nick in the breezeway.

Just long enough to confirm that I am, indeed, inside the fucking PSYOP.

And Sasha Cherlin is the controller.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE - NICK

I remember laughing even though nothing was funny.

I remember drifting, and floating, and thinking… that’s how it’s always gonna be. Just nothing but laughing and floating.