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Tired and irritated, I climb the stairs to my old bedroom, desperate to sleep in bed. I slept on the couch in the basement of my old house for most of this week until I worked up the nerve to move back to Philly. Coming home was not an easy decision.
When I fled mid-way through college, I left behind one of the most important people in my life. And I did it all because Mike had more to offer me at the time. He swept me off my feet by the third date, and I was following him back to Connecticut before I’d realized what I had agreed to.
Standing the doorway, I take a deep breath as I flip on the light switch and step inside. The room still has the powder pink comforter from when I was in high school, a collage of old pictures with my friends on a tack board, and enough girly shit to make someone think they are in a child’s bedroom. It’s as if someone vomited My Little Pony and The Powderpuff Girls all over this bitch.
My cheerleading pom poms are still sitting on the vanity next to a makeup kit along with a collection of perfumes and body sprays. Even my uniform is hanging up on a hook in front of the closet door. Since I moved, my mother had come to visit me. I avoided the city because of the man I had left behind. But I was too afraid I would run into Jackson again an open up old wounds.
Broad shouldered, well over six feet tall, and smart as hell, I really scored when I had found Jackson King. Or at least that’s what I had thought. He was the student professor for my psychology class, nerdy cute, and completely off limits.
At one point, I thought he would risk it all. But he was afraid he would ruin his career. We were good friends, and I loved him, hoped he would change his mind. Then, I met Mike, who had swept me off my feet and promised me the world. Until he turned out to be a womanizing pig.
As I sit down on the mattress, it groans to life, squeaking beneath my weight. Plywood would be more comfortable than this old bed with it’s ridiculous pink ruffles, lace, and tulle. I better get used to the accommodations.
My cell phone buzzes in my jean pocket, sending a tremor down my leg. Every time the phone rings now I get sick to my stomach. Mike’s whore had the nerve to call me after I caught them in the act just to rub it in and to tell me to stay away from her man. I hadn’t even packed a bag before that stank ass bitch had the nerve to harass me as if I was the one invading her territory.
At twenty-five years old, I never thought I would be sitting here, in my childhood room, with and ex fiancé and no children. My plan has gone to shit. I feel like a failure even though I can’t blame myself for Mike’s wandering dick. Or can I? Part of me assumes responsibility for his actions, while the other part tells me I did everything I could to make him happy, and in the end, it still wasn’t good enough for him.
I remove the phone from my pocket with a sigh, nervous about the caller on the other end of the line.
Relief washes over me when I see Olivia Ford’s name on the Caller ID. “Hey,” I say, now glowing with excitement.
“You’re back!” Her voice hurts my eardrum she talks so loud. “We are so getting together tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you.”
One of the good things about coming back to Philly is that my oldest friend is still single. Or at least she’s not seriously dating anyone. Olivia already promised we would have a party to celebrate my introduction back into single life. I have missed the shit out of her since I moved to Connecticut, stuck living in a big, lonely house by myself and with no friends.
I lean against the wall and snuggle up with one of the frilly pillows on the bed. “What did you have in mind?”
“I’m teaching a class until noon, but how about we meet at Broad Street Beans.”
“Yeah, that works for me.”
After college, Olivia went to law school at Strickland University and now teaches Law and Ethics at the College. She’s five years older than me and has always had her shit together. Strick U is a very prestigious school. I’m not thrilled that she chose a coffee shop full of students and on a college campus, but I am dying to see my friend after all this time apart.
“Awesome. I hate to do this, but I have to get going. I met this guy a few weeks ago, and well, he’s here right now and knocking on my door.”
“I thought you were single.” My smile turns into a tiny frown. “I was looking forward to having a girl’s night out.”
“I am…sort of. I really have no idea what’s going on with this one. He’s my student. It’s complicated. But we will definitely go out one night this week.”
“Shut up! You’re dating a student? Isn’t that like against the law or something?”
She sighs. “Technically, no.”
I hear her moving around her apartment, followed by a man’s voice, as he whispers the dirtiest shit I’ve ever heard in her ear.
“Mark,” she giggles, “I’m on the phone. She can hear you.”
“Be a good girl and hang up right now before I have to punish you.” His voice is so fucking sexy I am dying to see if his face matches. Judging by the sounds coming from Olivia, I would say that the answer is yes.
“I really have to go,” Olivia moans into the phone. “Mark, stop it.” There’s a long, awkward pause before she finishes, “I’ll see you tomorrow at noon. Gotta run.”
Then, the line goes dead, leaving me alone once again with my thoughts, which is never a good thing. My first thought is to go back downstairs and help myself to one of my mother’s cans of cheap beer. But I don’t want her to think I’m up here, popping pills and getting wasted. So, I clo
se my eyes and get comfortable. The duvet is rough and scratchy against my skin and smells of dust.
I sneeze a few times, clearing it out of my system before my lids get heavy. Closing my eyes, I focus on seeing Olivia tomorrow and do my best to block out the other shit plaguing me. Without even trying, I drift off to sleep, and without the help of pills or alcohol.
Tomorrow is another day.
