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I let out a loud sigh. “I can’t believe my mom told you.”
She sets the mug down on the table and purses her lips. “I wish I had heard it from you first, but your mom was worried about you. She thinks I can talk some sense into you.”
My eyes travel around the crowded café first before meeting her gaze. I’m too ashamed of what happened to stare directly into her eyes and tell her the truth. Was I trying to kill myself? I don’t think so. But I have no idea what I was thinking at the time other than making the heartache stop. And so I did.
“I’ll be okay. You should know that by now. This was a setback, a deviation in my plans, but it’s not like I’m forty and starting over. I’m only twenty-five. I have plenty of time to find someone else and settle down. Right now, all I want to focus on is being single and sorting out my shit, if that makes sense.”
“Yes. That makes perfect sense. I’m glad to hear that you’re adjusting so well. Please tell me you stopped with the pills.”
I nod my head, irritated. My mother gave me the same grand inquisition about it last night, which was part of the reason I dozed off in the middle of our conversation, only to break free later for bed.
“I took almost all of them in one shot, so yeah, I’m done with the sleeping pills unless I feel the need to go out and buy more.”
She stretches her hand across the table, seeking mine. I place my palm in hers, and Olivia squeezes tight. “Please don’t do that. You’re strong, always have been. Mike is an asshole who is not worth sacrificing your life over.”
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself, so can we get that off the table right now? I am fine. Even if I’m not one hundred percent okay at the moment, I will be in a month from now. I just need time to adapt to my new life and leave Mike and my old world behind.” My tone has a bit of anger behind it that almost surprises me. But I am getting tired of this conversation, regardless of who initiates it.
“Okay.” She motions toward the drink in front of me. “I got you a caramel macchiato for old times sake. I hope you still like them.”
“Some things never change,” I tell her, “and my coffee is one of them.” I sip from the mug, sucking down the sweet liquid.
We met in a rather funny way. Olivia was waiting for the barista to make her drink, and I had just sipped from mine, only to discover they had given me Olivia’s latte. She was having an awful day and stressed out to the max. Not giving a shit that a stranger had drank from her coffee cup, she ripped it out of my hand and walked out the door, as if that were a reasonable thing to do. Later in the day, she spotted me on campus and apologized for being a raging bitch. Law school had an insane effect on her personality with pregnant woman mood swings to match.
Ever since that day in the Quad when she flagged me down, drawing the attention of all the boys within eyeshot, we have been best friends. I was awkward and weird my first year of college. Olivia made me feel less strange when I needed someone most. I wish I could have been here a few months ago when she needed me. Defending a rapist who was guilty of the crimes didn’t sit well with her, especially after she got him off the hook. I don’t blame her. While that was a win for Olivia, it was not a victory for the citizens of Philadelphia. In that case, ju
stice was not done.
“How’s your new job?” I ask between sips of the macchiato.
She shrugs. “It’s not a bad gig. The hours are decent, I don’t have to sit up all night and read through case law anymore, and I don’t have to deal with the courtroom and everything that comes along with it. I am…free.” Olivia seems so relieved and more relaxed since the last time I had seen her. “But I have a slight problem.”
“Oh,” I say, leaning on the table with the mug still in my hands. “The student?” It’s a question, not a statement. I am dying to know more about the dirty talker I heard on the phone last night.
“Shh!” She holds her index finger up to her lips, checking the space around us, paranoid that someone will overhear.
I didn't think when I blurted that out. After all, we’re in the campus coffee shop with a ton of students layered around us. Following her lead, I scan the tables around us and lower my voice. “So, tell me about him. Just because my love life sucks doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about yours.”
“I have no idea what’s going on between us. It’s forbidden, you know. We’re not supposed to be together.”
“I was there once. Remember?”
Before I met Mike, I had a massive crush on my student professor. We were friends, kissed a few times, but nothing ever amounted from it. Jackson was too scared we would get caught and that he would jeopardize his career over me. I ran away not long after that.
“Yes, I remember,” she says, letting out the deep breath she was holding. “I can see why Jackson didn’t give in to you because let me tell you this is hard. We met before I even knew Mark was my student and now…” She doesn’t finish her sentence, biting down on her bottom lip, anxious.
“Are you going to end it?”
“I should. I tried to a few times, but he won’t let me.” She shakes her head. “It’s not that I can’t walk away from him, it’s that I don’t want to now that I have gotten to know him better. And the sex…my God the sex is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”
“That good?” I ask the question, but I can already tell by the look on her face, the way her lips part and her breathing grows heavy that it’s mind-shattering sex.
“Yes,” she says, her voice low. “Every time I think I can walk away, we meet up, and I lose all self-control.”
“I wish I would’ve had that with Mike. We were great together in the beginning, but the sex was never something to brag about.” I hold up my pinky and say, “His dick was way too small to satisfy me.”
She laughs. “I don’t have that problem. My man is big. Like porn star huge.”
I laugh, thinking about how a man with a baby dick cheated on me. “Mike’s secretary was mid-suck when I found them in his office. I was forced to stare at the world’s smallest penis lodged inside cockwhore’s mouth. That made the situation even more pathetic.”
