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After all my efforts to find the girl, she has been sitting next to me on the bus and in the library for over three weeks.
Why didn’t she say something to me? Ella, my sweet innocent, beautiful tutor, who I can’t help but fall slowly for every day is the girl. How could she keep this from me? She even went as far as to mention the masked girl to me. Was it to gauge my response? Was she testing me? Did she want me to give up and move on with another girl on campus? I’m so confused by her reaction. She got up and walked away so fast I hadn’t had the time to stop her from leaving.
Unsure of where to find the American Bar Association Model Rules of Professional Conduct, I ask the librarian, who tells me to check the reference section on the third floor. I should wait for Ella to come back because chasing after her once again might cause her to go into hiding. Why else would she withhold her identity? She did not give me enough credit and had disregarded how serious I am about her.
Once I reach the third floor, I stop at the top of the steps and look around, the stacks going back as far as I can see. I consider yelling to find Ella faster, but then, I remember the rules of the library and think better of it. Glancing at the titles on the ends of each shelf, I walk between the tall mahogany bookcases, weaving in and out of each aisle, in search of Ella. I was always chasing after Ella, only this time things are different between us.
The girl I was so desperate to find has become more to me than I had ever imagined. When I had set out on this quest, I was certain I would never find her, though I had hoped my efforts had a purpose.
Who would have thought my inability to keep my shit together would lead me to the girl of my dreams?
Clutching the chain around my neck, I lift it over my head and hold Ella’s charm in my palm. Obviously, this means something to her. After a solid minute or two of combing through the stacks, I find Ella with her back against the shelf, staring down at the book she has open in her hand. I come to a halt in front of her. She bites down on her bottom lip, nervous. Not until I hold up the gold chain and dangle the charm in front of her face does she peek up from the pages.
Her eyes are watery and red as if she was up here crying. “Are you mad at me? I can take it if you are…” Her words die off in her throat from the sobs that escape her lips.
I lower the chain to my side and stroke her jaw with my other hand. She leans into me, allowing me to caress her face. “Why didn’t you say something, Ella? I have been looking for you for weeks.”
“I’m sorry,” she mutters, her voice soft and low. “I didn’t want you to be disappointed.”
“Why would I be disappointed?”
“Because I’m not the kind of girl you would normally date. I like spending time with you, and I didn’t want to ruin what we had between us. I was afraid if you knew the truth you would switch tutors or start acting weird, and well, I couldn’t handle that. I cannot lose you. I have lost too many things in my life.”
Her words fill me with so many emotions, but sadness is the one I feel most. “You had me from the start. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me change my mind about you.” I open up my palm and hold out the charm. “I think this belongs to you.”
She takes the charm from me and unhooks the clasp, sliding the metal into her palm so that she can hand over the chain. My mom had given it to me years ago for Christmas. I hadn’t had much use for jewelry until Ella dropped her charm in the hallway at my house. I find myself doing tons of things I wouldn’t have done before I met Ella. Whether she realizes or not, Ella makes me an all around better man.
“You have no idea how much I’d wanted to say something once I had realized you had the other half of my charm,” she says, her eyes focused on the floor. “This is one of the few things I was able to keep from Clarissa’s fire sale. She sold everything but the house and bought all new things with the money she’d made. But this…this is mine. It’s the most valuable thing I own. My dad gave it to me.”
“I wish I had known,” I say, feeling her soft skin beneath my fingers.
“I should have said something,” she stammers. “You could have called off your search party weeks ago if I had spoken up. But I wanted to get to know you better. I wanted to see if you were the same person I had built up in my mind.”
Shocked by her declaration, I take a second to consider everything that has happened between us. She knew who I was that night, baited me into her trap, though I doubt she had known the hallway would lead her to the exit door. “You were alone at the party. Did you come there for me?”
Ella sucks in a deep breath, her blue eyes so wide and bright they glisten under the dim lights overhead. She nods in answer.
“I have liked you since that night, and my feelings for you have only grown stronger with each day we spend together,” I confess.
She smiles. “I bet I’ve liked you a lot longer. Do you remember how you felt the first time you saw me? Because I remember where you were, what you were wearing, and exactly what ran through my mind that day.”
“I bet I have given it much more thought.”
“I doubt that.” She brushes her lips against my hand that is still cupping the side of her face.
Her gentle touch sends chills up my arm and down my spine. The feeling I get when I’m around Ella has been there from the start, and it has yet to fade. In fact, the overwhelming emotions that rush through me when I think of Ella grow stronger each day.
“Do you want to play a game? My mom used to do this with me when I was little. She still does.” She says yes with her eyes, a simple gesture that tells me to keep going. “You said you remember everything about the first time you saw me, right?”
She smiles up at me. “As if it were yesterday.”
The corners of my mouth turn up into a grin that I find impossible to wipe from my face. Being around Ella makes me happy, so fucking happy I never thought this kind of joy was possible.
“Okay, the rules are simple. I get to ask you five questions, and then you get to ask me whatever you want.”
Why am I going about it this way? Wow, I’m acting like such a dork right now. Whatever. I don’t give a shit. When I’m around Ella, I lower my guard like I never have before, and it’s refreshing to be so open with someone. She has never judged me once, only tried to build me up.
“If you remember the day so well, then when was the first time you saw me?”
