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As much as I don’t want to lose my virginity in Shawn’s backseat, I want it bad enough to go with the flow. He can have me. All of me.
Instead of wondering where we go from here, Shawn answers for me. Our lips separate only for a few seconds, his tongue once again tangling with mine. But then he stops, and his kiss has a finality to it as if he’s not planning to take this any further.
“I should take you home,” he says against my lips.
“You choose now to say that?”
He shrugs with a stupid expression on his face. “Yeah, I don’t want you to press your luck too much. Clarissa might notice if you stroll in ten minutes before the sun comes up.”
“But I’m not ready to go,” I whine and sink back into the plush leather.
“I know, babe, but I don’t want you to get in even more trouble than you are already in with Clarissa. We still have an entire weekend together for Spring Formal.”
“That’s weeks away. I want to live in the here and now for once.”
“What do I keep telling you?” I frown, and he takes my refusal to respond as my answer. “Just listen to me, okay? No more thinking. We will make up for every bad decision you didn’t get to make by graduation. I promise.”
We both laugh, breaking the tension between us.
“Nothing I do with you would ever be a bad decision,” I breathe.
He slides his hand behind my back to bring me close enough to kiss my forehead. “Ella, I…I…”
I clutch his arm and stare into his eyes. “I know.”
Finch doesn’t need to finish his sentence for me to know what he was about to say, because I love him, too.
For anyone who hasn’t tried to slip their curvy ass through a tiny hole in hedges or jimmy open a door at five o’clock in the morning without a single bit of moonlight to see, they would not understand my current situation. Hell, I have never even done something this ridiculous until now. Of course, I don’t have the key to the back door because there is no way that Clarissa would ever give me access to sneak out.
Everyone walks through the front door—including her daughters. Clarissa has to be in control of everyone and everything at all times. The bottom of Mrs. F’s dress ripped when a branch caught on the fabric. Just another complication to my already complicated plan. In hindsight, I probably should have come up with a better solution, like living with Mrs. F when she had offered. But I didn’t make it this far to give up when I’m so close to the finish line.
As I shut the door behind me, I do my best not to make a sound. The house is still, not a single creak. With old houses like this one, they sometimes take on a life of their own late at night. When I was younger, I thought this place was haunted from all the noises I would hear on the roof or when the wind would rustle the shutters. Or the times when the floorboards would sound as though someone was walking on them when everyone was sleeping.
Carrying my heels in my hand, I grab the railing with the other and walk on my tippy toes up to the third floor. If you include the creepy basement and the attic my parents had turned into an additional guest room no one ever used, the house has five floors. The best rooms are on the fourth floor where my stepmother and sisters live, of course. They have enough space to throw a party up there, while I have a cramped room with a space heater that hardly works and zero luxuries.
Getting out of bed in the morning to serve Clarissa is always harder in the winter months. I have to sleep in three layers of clothes, several pairs of socks, and a mountain of quilts and comforters. Anything I can find to keep warm. Too bad I had to come back to sque
eze Bitch Mother's juice and fold her crepes. Yes, we have crepes on Saturday’s because dear old Clarissa turns into an old French woman on the weekend, and treats me as though I am her gourmet chef.
Sometimes, I add random shit to them to see if she will notice, blending in hunks of uncooked eggs and whatever I have handy for fun. She never does. You cannot kill someone that evil. Her sole purpose in life is to live forever to fulfill her never-ending cycle of torture.
The hallway is dark and unnervingly quiet when I hit the top landing to my floor. I let out a sigh of relief. But that feeling doesn’t last long. As I reach for the knob to my bedroom door, I hear a loud groan and turn to find Clarissa standing in the darkness with her face twisted in disgust.
Busted. I should have known I would never get away with this. Clarissa never skips a beat.
“Where have you been all night?” Her shrill voice sends chills down my spine. She throws her hands onto her narrow hips over a black robe that makes her look even more menacing. “You have been gone for hours. Don’t you think for one second, Ella, that I am not aware of everything that goes on inside my house.”
My house, bitch, I want to scream but hold my tongue. This is my house!
I stand up straight and say, “I went out with a friend.”
She shakes her head with an evil smirk on her lips. “No, you did not, you lying whore. You were out with that boy I caught you with before. Have you not learned your lesson? I grounded you for the same reason, and you make the same mistake. This time, you will pay more than before. I hope he was worth it.”
“Oh, what now, Clarissa? There is nothing more that you can do to me. You have already taken everything from me. Everything!” I scream, shocked by my reaction.
Not once have I raised my voice with Clarissa, because she always speaks in a low, condescending tone, but I have had enough. After the best night of my life, she has to go and ruin everything. Well, I will not allow her to take away my happiness.
Startled, she takes a step back and glowers at me. At first, I think she’s going to walk away. But she surprises me by grabbing hold of my arm. Her grip is so tight I cannot wiggle free.
