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“Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t be so angry about this,” he said. “If your idiot fiancé had not just broadcast his sexual hijinks through your phone, you would probably think this was rather funny.”
“No, you getting me fired from a job, after finally finding one that I enjoy, is not funny under any circumstances!”
“It’s a little funny,” he insisted against my forehead, with a level of mirth that was completely inappropriate given our current circumstances.
Before I could respond, I heard the crackle of gravel underneath the tires. The car was rolling forward! Collin hadn’t set the parking brake, and the natural gravity of the slope was pulling it toward the ravine.
“Collin!” I shrieked.
He rounded the car, pulling the bumper and slowing the car’s progress toward certain plunge-y demise. I leaned in through the open driver’s-side window to grab for the emergency brake. Collin’s strength slowed the car’s movement, but it was still rolling. I yanked on the parking brake, only to have the lever snap loose and come off in my hand.
“Shit!”
My feet slipped on the pavement, and I slid forward through the window, smacking my face against the upholstery of the driver’s seat, just as the front tires rolled off the edge. I pushed back, hoping to balance on my arm, to find that my belt buckle was caught on the window track. I was stuck. I couldn’t pull back from the car.
Great, now I was making progress toward certain plunge-y demise.
Well, I always knew it was probably going to end like this. Though I did think that a falling piano was going to be involved somehow.
“Collin!” I screamed.
My legs dangled helplessly out the window, while I wriggled my hips to loosen the buckle. I felt a rush of air behind me. Cool hands jerked twice at my jeans, gripping at my waist. I spotted my photo journal, wedged between the passenger seat and the console, and yanked it free. Just as the car tipped forward, Collin pulled me through the window and set me on my feet. I watched helplessly as the brake lights disappeared over the edge of the bridge.
I stood, horrified and slack-jawed, as the cartoonish mushroom cloud marking the car’s descent and destruction plumed up toward us. Any moment, I expected Wile E. Coyote to walk out with a little sign that read, “Uh-oh.”
“The parking brake?” I whimpered, holding the plastic lever up without looking away from the ravine. The photo journal hung loose from my other hand.
“I may have gotten a bit bored while I was driving. And I’m not used to modern automobiles. Everything’s made of plastic now and, really, very flimsy. I may have been fiddling with the brake lever during the drive and … bent it a bit.”
“Fiddling?”
“I was trying to help!” he shouted back. “I thought that if I could take a shortcut and get us home faster, it would help you impress your employer.”
“And you didn’t see this happening?” I yelled, gesturing wildly at the ravine.
“I told you, my gift is hardly any use around you. All I saw was the possibility of us running off the road because you dropped one of those Slushee drinks in my lap, which I prevented by buying you a bottle of water. Who could possibly guess this would be an outcome?”
“Well, pardon me for being the jinxed albatross around your neck!” I groused, slapping at his chest.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Pardon me for a minute.”
I shrieked. I shouted nonsense curse words as Collin disappeared over the lip of the ravine. My heart plummeted into my belly, and I dropped to my knees, peering over the edge. I watched as he dropped gracefully to his feet, sticking the landing with some superhero crouch. The Batmobile was turned on its back like a fiery automotive turtle. The engine had burst into flames as the car rolled, engaging the gas line and creating a dangerous little blaze at the front of the car. Collin gingerly yanked the rear doors open, tossed the crumpled metal panels aside, and crawled inside.
“Collin! What the hell are you doing?”
He emerged quickly with his silver briefcase. He dropped it into the water, and I swore I could hear it steaming. I watched as he gripped the handle in his mouth and smoothly, rapidly ascended the rock face of the cliff.
“Are you crazy? That car was on fire!” I yelled as he climbed over the edge and deposited the case at my feet. “That’s one thing on the short list of things that can kill you.”
He held up his all-important case, looking rather proud of himself, which really, really annoyed me. “The case is fireproof. And waterproof … and it can stand up to most explosives. It’s made of the same material they use for the black boxes in planes. I’m sorry I can’t say the same for our suitcases and your purse, which seem to have tumbled directly into the flames.”
Of course.
“Th-the same material as black boxes?” I spluttered. “Collin, for once and for all, what the hell is in that case?”
He opened his mouth, as if he was seriously considering telling me. But he clamped his lips shut and offered an apologetic smile. “I can’t tell you.”
I threw back my head and growled in frustration. He still didn’t trust me. Even after mechanical failures, partial nudity, and parking-lot rescues, he didn’t trust me enough to tell me what I’d been risking my neck to help him move cross-country.
