Page 50 of The Awful Truth

Antonia reached across the table and placed a hand on Charlotte’s arm. The sensation of touching her bare skin made Antonia’s blood boil, and she had to stop herself from squeezing her wrist. “Hey, listen. I don’t blame you. Not even a tiny bit, all right? This all falls squarely on Ted’s shoulders. You’re a victim here too. He’s older, has more life experience, and spent his entire career learning how to manipulate people to get what he wants. He’s got control over your career and your reputation. He could easily ruin everything you’ve worked so hard for all these years. He also knows exactly what to say and do to make a girl believe in fairy tales.”

Antonia removed her hand, and Charlotte immediately lifted that arm to swipe the tears off the tops of her cheeks. “It’s not like that, Antonia. It would be easy for me to pretend it’s all his fault, but I knew what I was doing.”

“I’m sure it feels like that, but that’s only because it’s what he wants you to think.”

“It feels like that because it’s true. He never threatened me or anything.”

Sitting back in her chair, Antonia rubbed her chin as if mulling over what Charlotte was saying. In reality, she was planning her next move. “In time, I think you’ll come to understand that you were very carefully groomed.”

“Groomed? That’s…no.”

“Trust me, Char. I spent decades steeped in the study of the human mind. Now, other than your message to him last night that he needed to bring his A-game, I haven’t read anything else, so I’ve been forced to make a few educated guesses. If you can help me piece it all together, I’ll be able to determine how screwed we both are.”

“I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this, especially not without Ted here.”

Smiling patiently, Antonia said, “Please believe me when I tell you having him in this conversation would be anything but helpful. He’d be desperately trying to say whatever he had to in order to not go down for this.” She carried on, knowing just how much pressure to apply. “Did the affair start shortly after you and Ian broke up?”

She shook her head. “It was right after I found out he was getting married.”

“Hmph. Right around Valentine’s Day? When I got mad at you for double-booking us for television appearances?”

Charlotte bit her lip. “Yup.”

Antonia sighed. “So that’s why you haven’t been able to make eye-contact with me. This whole time I thought it was because I snapped at you.”

Shaking her head, Charlotte sniffed. “No. I mean, I was pissed off at the time, but I’d never stay angry about something like that for so long. I guess I just…” Her voice went up two octaves. “Used that as a way to justify what I was doing. I’ve been trying to find ways to make you into the villain in all of this. Telling myself you don’t care about me, and that you’re demanding and impossible.”

“I’m sure my husband has been feeding you those ideas,” Antonia answered, somehow managing to sound compassionate. She was a therapist in a cozy office, not a scorned wife on a yacht during a heatwave.

Beads of sweat formed on Charlotte’s forehead. “Maybe a little, I guess. We rarely talk about you, to be honest.”

The admission was another punch to her gut, and she knew it was far from the last one she would take. “Of course. That wouldn’t make for a fun conversation, would it?” she said. “I’m curious what you do talk about. The future?”

“I don’t know…once in a while, maybe.”

Antonia tilted her head, her gut churning at the thought of her husband of so many years standing at an altar with someone else. She pushed that image out of her mind. “But you’re not in love with him, are you?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think I was, but…”

“You’re not,” Antonia told her, with a little shrug of her right shoulder.

Charlotte’s eyes narrowed. “And how would you know?”

Because I need you not to be. “Because you went out with Oliver. That doesn’t seem like something a woman in love would do.”

“I was…” She paused and shook her head. “I don’t know, restless, I guess. I knew this would be a hard week, having a front-row seat to all the pretending.”

That was rich. The other woman feeling sorry for herself because she had to see her lover with his wife. Stay calm and think. There’s no second chance to have this conversation. “So you do think you’re in love with him?”

“Honestly, Antonia, I haven’t let myself think about it. I work fourteen-hours-a-day. I don’t have time to fall in love.”

Antonia’s heart pounded and she scrunched up her toes, furious that Charlotte was blaming her poor morals on her heavy workload. “Okay, well, it’s vital that I understand where your mind is at with this whole thing. Do you think you would want a life with him?”

“Ummm…I never considered that. I just assumed it would end at some point and he’d stay with you because of the show and the kids and everything.”

“That makes sense.” Antonia took another sip. “You’ll forgive me for having so many questions. I’m trying to piece it all together in that way women do when their husbands betray them. I was up all night, wracking my brain for what I could have done to cause him to seek intimacy elsewhere. What was it I was doing that made him feel unsafe to tell me he was so unhappy? All those questions…so many questions. I know I shouldn’t ask, but if you could see it in your heart to help me figure it out, I think I’d sleep better tonight.”

“Uh…I…” Charlotte shut her mouth and looked out at the water, then back to Antonia. “I don’t know if I can help.”