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“I don’t know, really. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I don’t know if you can help me. I don’t even know if it’s right to ask, considering what I’ve done.”
“You really hurt me,” I whispered. “I don’t trust people very easily. And I thought you liked me.”
“I did. I do!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t expect you to be so sweet or so funny. I thought you’d be a crazy, wild-haired old chick with a million cats and a black muumuu. And you show up, and you’re no-nonsense and terrified of small mammals.”
“Marsupials.”
“Whatever.”
“I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”
“I have no reason to lie now. You know everything,” he said. “And I have something to make you feel better.”
“What’s that?”
He opened the fridge and took out a large green mixing bowl, displaying it with a flourish. “Banana puddin’.”
“You think a little pudding is going to make me feel better?”
“You haven’t lived until you’ve had real homemade banana puddin’.”
“Church-lady harem again?”
He pursed his full lips and gave me the puppy-dog eyes again. “There’s something I need to tell you about that.”
I gave him an exasperated look. “Oh, come on.”
“I made all of the food,” he said, cringing.
“Palace of lies!” I exclaimed. “Why—why would you lie about that?”
“I didn’t know what you liked in a man, and I didn’t want to come across all domestic and feminine. I happen to be a very good cook. My mama insisted that all of the boys learn to take care of the house, so when we found nice girls to marry, we would stay married.”
“I never saw you bring home groceries or smelled cooking from your side of the house.”
“You have a pretty regimented schedule,” he said, shrugging. “It was easy to work around you.”
“Is your name really Jed, or is that a lie, too? Are you really Gary Horowitz from Hoboken, New Jersey?”
“You still don’t trust me, huh?”
“I’ve said so, several times. I feel I’ve been very honest about it.”
“What’s it going to take to change your mind?”
15
Vampires are slow to trust and quick to attack. Do your best not to piss them off. And if you’ve already done so, run.
—A Smart Girl’s Guide to Living with the Undead
It turned out it took a lot for me to trust him again. But it took even more for my friends to be willing to give him license to breathe in their presence.
“Ow!” he yelped as Jane attached her hands to either side of his head, yanking out a bit of hair.
“Hey, if your brain wasn’t so patchy, I wouldn’t have to get so close,” Jane admonished. “You’re lucky we’re not calling Sophie the lie detector.”
“Who?” he asked, wincing as she dug her fingers against his scalp.
