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“That’s a majority,” Jane added. “And hey, even if you can’t bind the evil ice skaters, at least they can’t bind you.”
“But the Kerrigans are going to have their powers returned to them for the first time in two hundred years. That’s like giving an angry toddler an espresso and a box full of matches. You don’t know exactly how it’s going to turn out, but it’s probably going to end in flames and tears.”
“Also, I think Tonya Harding would be considered the evil ice skater,” Andrea said. “Nancy Kerrigan, no relation, was the victim.”
“I never liked her,” Jane said. “She reminded me a little of my sister. Big teeth, bigger ego.” She shrugged when Jed frowned at her. “Sorry, back to the point.”
“My family can’t leave Kilcairy.” I sighed. “The whole point of my coming here was to make sure we kept everyone safe so we could continue serving our neighbors. The McGavocks would never want to leave the farm, anyway. We’re going to have to get tougher, I guess, more aggressive.”
“You can have my Taser,” Jane offered. “And I’ll bet Iris knows where you can get them at a bulk discount. You could get one for every man, woman, and child in your village.”
“That might do it,” I said, chuckling. “Thank you both for all your help.”
“No problem,” Jane said. “But if you don’t mind, Andrea and I are going to retire for the morning.”
Andrea pushed to her feet and hugged me with a tenderness that had my eyes misting a bit. “We’re sorry to leave you, but if we stay out much longer, the sun will come up, and we’ll, you know, burst into flames. Which most people find very upsetting.”
“I’ll help her clean everything up,” Jed assured them. “You’ll be ready to open this evening.”
“Do you mind if I spend a little more time looking around?” I asked Jane. “If nothing else, I can pick up some of this mess. I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping anytime soon.”
“Sure,” Jane said, sifting through her purse and handing me her key ring. “Lock up when you’re done.”
“You’re giving me a key?” I laughed.
Jane’s lips twitched. “I think we’ve established that I can trust you. I’m sorry to run off on you, but again, spontaneous combustion.”
“Don’t be,” I told her. “You’re right. I’m just moping. If nothing else, I know the Kerrigans haven’t found the bell, either. Maybe I should just set fire to the other three and end this stupid feud.”
“Fire has been mentioned way too often in this conversation,” Andrea said, shoving Jane toward the door. “I’m switching you both to decaf.”
“Good night!” I called after them. I sighed and let Jed wind his arms around my waist.
“I don’t suppose you know of any magical tricks that would clean this room for us, huh?” he murmured into my neck.
I shook my head. “Does knowing the number for the Magic Maid Service count?”
“Probably not.” He sighed.
* * *
Jed and I slowly, but surely, set Jane’s shop back to rights. I put the knickknacks back in their little cubbies. I put the boxes of random stock back in the stockroom. Eventually, it began to look like the respectable establishment it was, and not a supernatural yard sale. I grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge and plopped into a chair, propping my feet up on a table.
“Big. Fat. Failure.”
“Aw, baby, I still love you anyway,” Jed said, pushing my hair out of my face. “Or I can see myself in that particular predicament pretty soon.”
My eyes popped open. “Love me? Really?”
“Well, it’s not the confession I had in mind for this moment, but yeah, I do. You pulled me in with your wily, witchy ways. I don’t see any other woman kissin’ me after seein’ me turn into a giant alien Smurf.”
“You’re not the first man I’ve brought down.” I laughed, closing my eyes as he stroked a hand down my face.
“You just sit here a minute, OK? I’m gonna take these out to the garbage.” He hefted up two large bags of debris we’d cleaned out of the store. He winked at me and transformed into a sort of man-raccoon hybrid. “Just adjustin’ to my environment. Raccoons love garbage cans.”
“Showoff,” I muttered as I sat back in the chair.
A giant raccoon-man loved me. How many girls could say that?
