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“It’s nice to know some young people still have pretty manners.” She sniffed. “My Zeb should have married a nice girl like you. Not that redheaded hussy . . .”
Jane growled. “Watch it, Mama Ginger. You’re already on thin ice. Now, what happened to the blobby acorn thing?”
Mama Ginger made a study of her talon-like fire-engine-red nails. “I may have mailed it . . . to Georgia . . . as a wedding present to my cousin Hubert.”
“You used a shoplifted item as a wedding gift?” Jane exclaimed.
I didn’t think Jane had much room to judge, regifting-wise, but I also didn’t think this was the appropriate time to point that out. And suddenly, I realized. “Georgia,” I said. “As in the abbreviation GA? Georgia.” But Jane was too busy staring holes in Mama Ginger’s head to note my amusement. “Well, I’m happy to know my nana wasn’t a Gaga fan. Life makes sense again. Sort of.”
“Hubert loves squirrels!” Mama Ginger exclaimed. “His wife, Mindy, wrote the sweetest thank-you note. Well, it was e-mailed. But they loved it, you could tell!”
“You are double-banned!” Jane exclaimed.
* * *
I persuaded Mama Ginger to give me Cousin Hubert’s phone number for a small fee and on the condition that Jane had to leave her house while I conducted my business with Hubert’s wife. Mindy was sweet as peaches and clotted cream about the “misunderstanding” with her wedding gift, until we started discussing a price for its safe return. Let’s just say that any buy money I saved locating the candle for free had been spent. But I was grateful that Mindy had simply chucked the gift box containing the plaque into a closet and forgotten about it, instead of disposing of it or regifting it, as seemed to be the secret custom around here. Jane, by the way, called through the window that I should demand that Mindy text-message a digital picture of the plaque and a dated newspaper to my phone, to prove that she still had it, before I promised any money. Mindy huffily complied and then informed me that I had until five P.M. the next day to come pick it up before the price doubled.
Before Jane could object, I handed Mama Ginger the cash I’d promised her and lit out for Jane’s car. “I can’t say I’m pleased that you gave the thieving she-troll money, but at least you’ll have another Element in your hands by tomorrow,” Jane said as I buckled my seatbelt.
“The only problem is that my car is held together with duct tape and prayer,” I told her. “It would never make the drive to Georgia and back. Do you think Miranda would be willing to take me? I could pay her.”
“Miranda is out of town on an assignment,” Jane said. “She’s driving some Council member to California. I would loan you my car, but it’s with one of Dick’s people, getting fitted with fireproof seats. I’m relying on Gabriel’s car for transportation.”
“So this is what shit creek feels like, and me without my paddle.”
“It’s not that bad.”
I scoffed. “It’s, what, one A.M., now? I’m completely knackered. The drive to Georgia will take at least seven hours, so if I want to make Mindy’s deadline, I’m going to have to find a car within the next nine hours and make the drive. The only good thing I can say about this situation is that at least it’s Saturday and the clinic is closed, so I won’t have to call in ‘flaky and unavailable.’ ”
Jane patted my hair, but I believe it was to keep me from whacking my head against the seat. “Look, this isn’t a big deal. Dick and I will find a solution. You need some rest before you leave tomorrow. I’ll drop you at home, and by the time you wake up, we’ll have worked something out for you.”
“By the way, are you ever going to tell me what the hell is going on with Dick?” I asked.
Jane shook her head. “It’s not my place. All I can tell you is that Dick is absolutely mortified that you think he’s an obsessive pervert, which is why he is trying to ‘give you space’ right now. Well, to be fair, he is a bit of an obsessive pervert, but not when it comes to you.”
“I’m not sure this is making me feel better.”
“I will say that when he tells you, you’re going to laugh,” she said. I snorted derisively, closed my eyes, and tilted my head against the seat. Jane reached across and clicked my seatbelt into place. “Come on, let’s get you home and tucked into bed.”
“I would protest that I am an adult and capable of doing this myself, but as I mentioned, I am exhausted,” I muttered. “And I just don’t have the energy for false displays of independence.”
“If anyone asks, I’ll swear you put up a mighty protest,” Jane promised.
I opened one eye, giving her a sideways glance. “By the way, fireproof seats?”
Jane rolled her eyes. “I have a teenage vampire living in my house. It’s best not to ask questions.”
* * *
An hour later, I had showered and felt vaguely human as I scrambled to pack a bag for the mini-break to Georgia. It was late, and I was desperate to get enough sleep that I wasn’t entirely addled for the drive. But then I looked at my mobile and saw that Stephen had called twice while I was at Mama Ginger’s. I dialed his number, hoping I could keep the conversation quick and get to bed. That was the appropriate attitude when calling one’s lover from a long distance, right?
Stephen’s tone when he picked up did not bode well for the quick, light interchange I’d hoped for. “Oh, so you finally decided to call me, eh?”
“I’m so sorry, Stephen, I’ve just been so busy. I was really thrown into the trenches on my own today, and I’m exhausted. I wish I could tell you all about it, but I’m on my way out of town. I have to leave first thing in the morning.”
“Out of town? For what? Are you telling me you can’t be bothered to call, but you’ve had time to book a holiday?”
The flinty tone to his voice had my stomach rolling. The weight of fatigue and frustration pressed against my chest, and I just wanted to lie across the bed and curl into a ball. I hadn’t meant to say anything about the trip, but I had no filter when I was tired. If he pressed too much more, I would tell Stephen all about the trip to Kentucky, the Elements, and the shirtless neighbor I may or may not have flirty butterfly feelings for.
