Page 262 of These Tears

I turn slowly, taking in the surroundings and the careful order of things. And as I turn a full circle, the joy catches on a sharp thought – the truck outside. The dogs. The generator, the darkroom equipment.

My gaze creeps over him as the numbers begin lining themselves up in my head.

‘Elias… how did you pay for all this?’

His gaze drops from mine to the wooden floor. ‘Conall has been doing more than keeping Cromwell occupied,’ he says carefully. ‘His barrister got the court to release the part everyone agrees belongs to me. The rest is still tied up. Most importantly, this money did not come from Arthur. It was taken from me many years ago.’ His mouth tightens as if that victory tastes wrong. ‘Conall secured a small win, Leah.’

A small win.

For the truck. All this equipment… The damn dogs?

The meaning sinks into me colder than the truth I first woke to in this cabin.

‘Every payment has a record, Elias,’ I say. ‘The truck has a registration; the equipment had to be delivered. The dogs… won’t they know where we are now?’

His attention slips past me towards the other end of the room. One second passes. Then another.

‘There is a trail,’ he admits. ‘But it does not lead here.’

Every time he pulls us a little closer to trust, another secret knocks us backwards.

‘I was careful. And you’re not done looking around,’ he says meaningfully as he pulls me closer and buries his mouth into my neck.

‘No,’ I say, ‘Elias, tell me how—’

His mouth closes around mine. His kiss is soft, warm enough to begin thawing the shock and the rage inside me. After months of learning him the hard way – of fighting him and fearing him, then somehow building something in the spaces between – I choose the kiss instead of the argument.

My hands settle against him without my permission.

Then sense catches up with need, and I push him away. Reluctantly.

He allows it.

‘You do not get to kiss me through the part where you explain your magical shopping spree.’

‘You’re safe here,’ he says quickly. ‘I was careful. I had help.’

I had help.

The unanswered question since the airport.

Anders comes to mind first. Markus, Henrik, Olle… This family has learnt to live life the hard way.

Then I remember that he’d mentioned – after the Hunt fiasco – that his family didn’t know about our… arrangement.

And, when his eyes stop blinking and settle on my mouth like they do now, when his arms tighten around me and his lips press into a stubborn line, I know I won’t be getting anything out of him.

The kiss does not erase what he has just dropped on me, but it certainly makes it easier to stand beneath the weight of it. Beneath the fact that I do not want Cromwell to know where we are. I do not want anyone coming here.

I do not want anyone to save me from my demon.

When he pulls away, his face is a little more serious. Almost hesitant.

His throat starts working as he looks towards the far corner again. I follow his gaze where shadows swallow the edge of the room.

Only then do I realise that the room has been split in two.

More boards have been fitted at the far end, carving out a separate space.