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“Suddenly, we’re concerned with the rules?” Dick asked in the same saccharine tone.
“Only when they work to my advantage.” She smiled.
That meant I still had to fight. Dang it. While Dick had Missy distracted, I had a small panic attack.
“I haven’t been a vampire for very long, but I’m pretty sure I can’t toss someone like that,” I said, wincing as the wound in my shoulder closed. “I want her tested for steroids.”
“She’s been drinking the blood of older vampires for years. It makes her the equivalent of an East German gymnast, ” Dick called over his shoulder. He glared at Missy. “Trust me, I know.”
This prompted more indignant chatter from Missy. I groaned, clutching Gabriel’s arms. “Gabriel, I don’t want this to be the way you remember me. Just leave now, before I get my ass handed to me by a sorority reject from hell. I ’m sorry I dragged you into my weird, drama-ridden existence. I’m sorry I screwed things up so badly with you and me. I’m sorry I have the emotional maturity of a grapefruit.”
He grinned, his fangs glinting. “You don’t have the emotional maturity of a grapefruit. A tangerine, maybe, but I think you’ve got to work your way up to grapefruit.”
I smacked his chest. “You’re joking. I’m going to be beaten to death with a hot-pink faux-alligator handbag, and you pick now to develop a sense of humor.”
“You’re not going to be beaten to death,” Gabriel said in a bemused, soothing tone. He held his wrist to my lips. “Drink.”
Sensing Gabriel’s maneuver, Dick began arguing in a louder, more demanding tone, casting aspersions on Missy’s character, business acumen, and sexual prowess. She screamed back that she faked something a lot. I didn ’t catch what, but I think I can guess.
“I don’t think now is the time for naughty blood-swapping fun,” I said, shoving Gabriel’s arm away. “Besides…” I jerked my head toward Zeb. “He’s watching.”
Zeb waved my concerns away. His eyes were glued to Dick and Missy baring fangs and snarling insults. “I can’t tear myself away from the most frightening breakup fight I’ve ever seen.”
Gabriel nudged his wrist toward me again. “You’ll absorb some of my strength. It will help you.”
“It’s just that, drinking your blood, it’s kind of what got me into this mess,” I said.
“I didn’t see you complaining when you were dying along the roadside,” he huffed. “Or when we were making love.”
“What?” Zeb shouted.
“Zeb, shut it,” I warned.
Gabriel ran his hands through his hair, making it stand on end in a wild Beethoven that would have been hilarious under different circumstances. “Would you please just accept help from me and stop being so, so—”
“So Jane?” Zeb suggested.
“Zeb!” Gabriel warned.
“OK, you need to back off,” I said, poking Gabriel’s chest. “You’re suffocating me. You never tell me anything unless it’s your ‘listen to Daddy’ voice, which is incredibly annoying in someone you have feelings for. I never know how you feel about me, about anything, except that you like to see me naked, and you have caveman ‘must protect Jane’ impulses. I’m not a mind reader.”
“Technically, you kind of are,” Zeb volunteered.
We both growled at Zeb, our fangs bared.
“Shutting up!” Zeb said, throwing up his hands and backing away.
“I don’t write love poems,” Gabriel said. “I don’t cuddle. I don’t spend hours on the phone, cooing, ‘No, you hang up first.’
I was raised in a time when if you had feelings for a woman, you proposed or you made her your mistress. I think, given the circumstances, you should give me credit for being as evolved as I am.”
Damned if he didn’t have a point. But I would have to hand over my womanhood membership card if I ever admitted it.>Jenny is not a fan of yours, by the way.”
I glared at my sister, who refused to meet my gaze.
Missy sneered. “Get a couple of margaritas in her, and she becomes quite the Chatty Cathy. She’s been coming to me for advice on how to whisk that house out from under you, what with my real-estate expertise and all. She came here tonight thinking I’d come up with some way of forcing you into signing it over for tax reasons. You know, she’s been feeding me information about you for months. Your schedules, your habits, your friends’ names, your favorite foods. Of course, she didn’t realize all of that had changed, because she’s too damn dumb to figure out you’re a vampire, but it was a good start.
“And now, it’s time for the final act, Jane. I tried playing nice. I tried playing dirty. And now I’m going to play rough. I’ll say you came after me in a jealous rage over Dickie, and I had to kill you in self-defense. And if the council doesn’t believe that, I’ll just keep talking until I find a story they do believe. You’d be amazed at what I can do to sell a story.”
