Page 66 of Somebody To Love

Now Becca was in my kitchen, making herself a sandwich, while I told them my sad tale.

“At least you didn’t marry him,” Becca said, sitting down before taking a big bite.

“Yeah, she has a point.” Dana nodded sagely.

I put my head down on the dining room table and groaned. “I’m so stupid... so, so stupid.”

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Becca said.

“It’s not worth it,” Dana added, “Trust us. We were pretty much betrayed by the same man.”

“Actually, you were betrayed,” Becca pointed out much to Dana’s annoyance. “I was just sort of used.” She frowned and then took another bite before saying with her mouth full, “You know I’m not too sure which one is worse.”

I raised my head and looked at the two of them. “You guys are off topic. We’re supposed to be talking about me. Remember?”

Becca hurriedly apologized. “I’m sorry, Piper. It’s like you can’t trust anyone. That’s why I don’t date. Men just aren’t worth it.”

Dana shook her head and said to Becca, “You’re too young to be so cynical.”

Becca sighed. “It’s no use. I read a blog about it. All the good ones are taken. And even if they weren’t, apparently even the good ones go rotten. I mean, look what happened to Piper. We all thought Ty was the good guy, but nope he sucks just like all the others.”

I raised my head and said, “You guys aren’t making this any better.”

They looked at each other and instantly looked guilty. “We’re sorry,” Becca offered.

“I’m not really,” Dana said.

I sighed heavily and stood up and rummaged through my refrigerator. “Where’s the stupid ice cream when you need it?” I mumbled to myself.

Becca perked up. “There’s ice cream?”

“Nope,” I said, feeling dejected.

“I’ll go get some,” Dana offered. “What’s the use of a pity party without ice cream? Be right back, ladies.” She grabbed her car keys and went out the door. I went and sat back down across from Becca and just stared at the wall.

“I’m really sorry that things between you and Ty didn’t work out,” she said once she finally finished her sandwich.

“I just wish he had been honest with me from the start. Why would he lie and manipulate me?”

Becca didn’t answer. She just listened.

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you—”

“Then why do I keep making the same mistake? Trusting the wrong men?” Becca didn’t offer an answer, just a sympathetic ear, so I continued, “I can’t keep blaming others for my mistakes. In the past what? Six months? I’ve dated three different men who have lied to me and the only one who was decent to me I dumped.” I let out a laugh of contempt at myself.

“Stop beating yourself up... you didn’t know... stop blaming yourself. We all make mistakes.”

I shook my head. “I don’t just make mistakes... I make the same mistakes over and over. I’m as bad as my brother.”

Becca shook her head. “I was married to him, remember? There’s no comparison. He’s not a good person, Piper. But you are. He hurts people while you just want to be loved. Don’t compare yourself to him. You’re nothing like him.”

I got up and went to the window and looked out. “My parents were rotten at love. Maybe that’s why my brother and I are so dysfunctional.”

“Your brother is dysfunctional because that’s who he’s chosen to be. No one’s predestined to be a jerk.”

She had a point, but I wasn’t ready to let myself off the hook yet. I knew Becca was kind of right, but I still blamed myself. Sylvia had said I deserved love, but now I wasn’t so sure.