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Jay had the face of an angel but apparently no spine. Strong chin, Roman nose, full pouting lips, the deepest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. And because of the parallels to Adam, I took a bit of an instant dislike to him. His eyes darted wildly as I approached. “Is this is about that cash I owe you? Because I didn’t know where to find you after your trailer burned down. My phone got cut off because of a mix-up with the billing. My dog got sick. Who is she? Is this your enforcer? What’s she going to do? Is she going to cut off my nose? I told you, man, not necessary. I’ll get the money to you—”
“No, Jay, I kissed that money good-bye a long time ago,” Dick said, looking up to me. “Jay has a fixation on someone cutting off his nose.”
“To spite his face?” I chirped. Both Jay and Dick gave me blank looks. “Nobody gets me!”
“Jane, this handsome reprobate is Jay,” he said, standing Jay up and dusting off his shoulders. “Jay, this is my friend Jane.”
“Hey there, how you doing?” he said, grinning with the relief of an unexpected reprieve.
“Dick’s told me all about you. Don’t even try,” I lied, my tone a little snottier than I usually used in an introduction. I would not be charmed by a pretty face, I swore. I would not be charmed by a pretty face.
“Just because I’m not collecting doesn’t mean I won’t let her kick you in the goods,” Dick warned him. “She’s got a lot of repressed anger.”
“If it’s not about the money, why are you after me?” Jay whined.
Dick nodded to me, which apparently meant I was in charge of questioning. I guess I was Tyne Daly.
“A few years ago, you were working at Sunnyside Retirement Village—”
“Yeah, they fired me over a few missing watches. Can you believe that?” he huffed, indignant.
“I really can’t. In fact, I think it might have had a little more to do with you turning one of the patients into a vampire.”
“What?” Jay cried. “Why would I do that? They were half-dead anyway.”
“So you have no idea how Wilbur Goosen is still walking around?”
Jay gave me an innocent look that I’m sure many girls have lost their wallets and/or undergarments to. “Not really, no.”
Dick flicked Jay’s ear. “Talk to her, Jay.”
“Why do you keep doing that?” I asked when Jay yowled.
Dick paused flicking. “Because it bothers him. A lot.”
“OK, OK, so I turned the old guy. Nothing wrong with that,” Jay insisted. “He even paid me, a thousand dollars. He was going to rat me out, man. I needed that job. Do you know how many night-nurse positions there are for men out there? Not a lot. People seem to think that we can’t be trusted around the patients or something.”
“I can’t imagine,” I commented, my voice as dry as dust.
“I didn’t even give him the full dose. Just enough to make him wake up in three days. Sort of a halfsie.”
“So you did turn him into a ghoul? Dang it, Jay,” Dick growled. “You know we’re not supposed to do that.”
“What’s the big deal?” Jay whined. “It’s not like he would have been very strong anyway.”
I flicked Jay’s ear myself. “Yeah, no big deal. He’s just been bumping off human wives for about fifteen years, but what’s a few old ladies? I mean, you got a thousand dollars out of the deal, right?”
“What’s it to you?” Jay whined. “I’ve heard about you. You’ve had your share of run-ins with the council.”
“I’m going to be his step-granddaughter,” I said, flicking his ear again. “Ass!”
“Ow!” Jay cried. “Stop with the ears. Look, I was supposed to get Wilbur out of the home before the coroner got there. That was part of the deal. He wasn’t supposed to be declared dead or leave a paper trail. I mean, this was before the Coming Out. Nobody knew we existed. But I’d never made another vampire before. I didn’t know how tired it made you. I went to my trunk to lie down, and by the time I woke up, it was already daylight, and the body had been moved. So I went to the funeral home—”
“Because you were hoping he’d been embalmed and wouldn’t rise.”
“How was I supposed to know his family wouldn’t pay for a full funeral?” He snorted. “Cheap bastards.”
“Some people.” Dick shook his head piteously as we departed for his car.
