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Gabriel covered me against the shrapnel from a thrown hurricane lamp. “Do you really think introducing police to the mix will improve the situation?”
“Good point,” I said, ducking the flying tissue-paper bells.
“I say we wait it out,” he said, handing me a little flask.
“What if Jolene gets a black eye for her wedding photos?” Andrea asked in a slightly addled voice.
“I think when the groom walks out of the wedding rehearsal, the last thing the bride has to worry about is pretty pictures,” Dick said.
“Wow,” Andrea marveled as Jolene hefted a tractor tire over her head and launched it at her uncle Tom.
“Well, she’s pretty worked up,” I said. “And she’s got all that werewolf strength. I just can’t believe Zeb did this. This isn’t him. He loves Jolene. He doesn’t have the kind of heart that just stops loving.”
Gabriel nodded. “It’s different now, stronger. It’s as if his thoughts are … filtered. Some of them are not his own. Have you noticed?”
“I try not to look into my friends’ heads. You tend to find out things that upset you.”
“I told you we’d have an unforgettable evening,” Dick said, elbowing Andrea.
“Yes. I think I won’t be able to forget this, no matter how much medication I’m prescribed.” Andrea winced as she downed a glass of room-temperature “Fuzzy Navel”–flavored wine.
“Five bucks says Papa McClaine takes Vance out with a farm implement of some type,” Dick offered in an effort to lighten the mood.
“Ten says he uses his bare fangs,” Gabriel countered.
I separated their shaking hands. “Uh-uh, you two are just now talking again. No betting. Besides, shouldn’t we go after Zeb?”
After the dust (and potato salad) had been cleared, Jolene was left sitting on a broken picnic table in an empty clearing. And she was naked again. That could not be sanitary.
“Oh, honey.” I clutched her close to me (after I’d wrapped her in a stray tablecloth).
“I don’t understand what happened.” Jolene sniffled. “Everythin’ was so perfect.”
“Do you think Zeb could be usin’ drugs?” I asked. Jolene stared at me. “OK, it’s not exactly within the realm of his character, but I would guess ‘hard-core crack smoker’ way before ‘idiot who dumped the love of his life at the altar.’”
“You think I’m the love of his life?”
“Of course I do. Who else would it be? It sure the hell isn’t me. What do you think made Zeb … just what the heck happened?”
“Zeb hasn’t been right in months. It’s little things. But I never thought—I never thought he would do somethin’ like this.”
“You know all that stuff Zeb was saying, that was just crazy talk, right? Zeb doesn’t really love me. It was as if he had some sort of dissociative episode or started channeling Mama Ginger or something. Maybe he just got cold feet.”
“The Zeb I love would not have cold feet. He was excited about getting married. How could someone just change like that? Maybe I should have married my cousin Vance, like Uncle Luke said.” Jolene paled. “I’ve got to call everythin’ off. I’m goin’ to have to call two hundred of my relatives and tell them the weddin’s off. And all that food! And the little mints. And the iceberg! What am I goin’ to do with a thirty-foot Styrofoam iceberg?”
“What were you going to do with it after the wedding?” I asked. She glared at me through her tears. “Look, let’s just hold off on canceling anything. All of the food, the drinks, everything will keep for two days, right? You just sit tight for the rest of the weekend. Don’t make any decisions or announcements. Give me two days. If by Sunday I do not have a willing and groveling groom kneeling at your feet, then I will help you sink that dang Styrofoam iceberg.”
Jolene chewed her lip.
“He loves you, Jolene. He’s never loved anybody in his whole life the way he loves you.”
“Two days,” she agreed. “Now I just have to keep my family from killin’ him.”
“That would help, yes.”
21
One who objects at a werewolf wedding risks serious injuries.
