Page 103 of The Corruption of Hollis Brown

How could something like that make you feel calm?

Walt was upset, their chest hurt enough to make their eyes prickle.

I can’t explain it in detail, I just know it worked. You can’t judge me for this after everything we’ve done.

I’m not. I’m not judging you. Christ, Hollis. Ain’t I allowed to be worried?

It’s not even happening anymore.

BUT IT WAS! It was and you were doing it, like it was nothing. Like you were nothing and I—

Hollis got up.

“We’re fine, but we’re gonna do this in the bathroom.”

Annie nodded. She didn’t pause the movie.

He closed the door behind them and sank down to sit on Annie’s mom’s pristine cream-colored bath mat.

Why does this bother you?

You’re not supposed to want to die. You have everything. Everything, Hollis. I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.

You’re not, Walt. Not even close.

What if I came two months too late, would you still be out there? You can’t make me the only reason why you don’t . . . why you can’t.

How come you’re allowed to want to die and I’m not? How come I’m supposed to sit there and listen to you talk about coming here to figure out how to disappear permanently, and you can’t handle the idea of me going to the train when I don’t even do that anymore.

Hollis, please. Please, it’s different for me. I’m not, it’s not the same.

Walt was so distressed, their heart was beating rabbit fast.

Walt, please calm down. I feel like I’m about to have a stroke. I won’t go there again. We won’t go there.

Walt’s hand shot out and grabbed Hollis’s hand, held it close to their chest, desperately. He was shaking, he wouldn’t let go, and it hurt.

Oh, sweetheart.

Hollis curled his knees up close and sighed.

Dream

The movie was half done when they came out. Annie had gotten some Twizzlers while they were gone. She offered him one, eyes still glued to the screen.

“He yell at you about it?”

“Something like that.”

Annie snorted.

“You gonna listen to him as well as you listened to me?”

“I have to. We always compromise.”

“At least he’s teaching you something,” Annie muttered.

When the screen faded to black and the credits scrolled by in green, Annie tossed her side of the blanket over his shoulder and pulled him close.