Page 70 of The Corruption of Hollis Brown

Did you mean it?

What?

What you said to them earlier. You could’ve said anything, but you said that.

What we have together is our business. When they find out—if they find out—it’s not going to be because I was too startled to think of something else, or because I was threatened into confessing. It will be on my own terms.

I told you it was all right.

Yeah. But also, if there’s no way to make this stop, then it’s mine. This secret belongs to me and I deserve to be able to guard it—

Hollis.

Jealously. I deserve to be able to guard it jealously, Walt. If this . . . thing we have is rare. If it’s good, if it’s mine, I should be able to share it when I feel ready to. Not when you’re tired and not out of fucking . . . despair or whatever.

Walt was quiet.

And yeah, I did mean that stuff earlier. Loners don’t survive well here. It’s one thing to be edgy and isolated in high school and another to be kept out of food trades or resources because everyone thinks you’re standoffish or a piece of shit. I’ve always known that, I just—I didn’t notice that I was running out of time to figure out how to . . . not be like that, I guess.

You’re not a bad person, Hollis.

And it was strange to hear it said like that. So plain, like it was obvious.

It wasn’t that he thought he was or anything. It just . . . It was different hearing it from someone who knew him. Who watched him every day, saw the good parts, the bad parts, and the secret parts.

You’re just you and that’s crackerjack all by itself.

And Hollis didn’t mean to, but he felt ashamed. He felt ashamed and relieved and seen, and he couldn’t stop himself from crying if the world was going to end.

Oh, sweetheart.

Yulia put her right hand on the top of the wheel and silently reached back through the gap between the seat and the door.

Hollis threaded their fingers together.

Stars

Instead of going back to school, Yulia dropped him off at home. There was only one class period left anyway. She parked in front, and they both got out.

Hollis had long since dried his face, and Annie couldn’t have seen him, she’d been facing the window the whole time. But Yulia cupped his cheek anyway and looked into his eyes.

“Are you all right?”

Hollis bit his lip.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’ll be fine, I think.”

She stared at him hard, a small line of concern appearing between her eyebrows, but eventually let him go. Smiled, even.

“You’d better be,” she said, then slapped at his face light and familiar.

Yulia kissed his forehead again, then messed up his hair.

“Text us later. Don’t forget.”

Melt

Hollis closed the door behind them. The house was silent and golden, warm the way it is when you stay home sick from school. Two hours before his ma was to be expected.