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Dick looked sheepish. “I can’t watch her every minute, son. How was I supposed to know she’d be attacked by ground shipping?”
The two of them shared a look over my head. Gabriel made several threatening faces. Dick responded with rude gestures. Eventually, they looked like two inebriated mimes having a dance-off.
“Would someone clue the scabby girl in on the conversation?” I demanded.
“Dick was supposed to be watching you,” Gabriel admitted. “He’s been watching you for me for a while now.”
“Well, that explains why you’ve spent so much time at the shop!” I took a swipe at Dick, who lithely stepped out of the way toward Andrea. She smacked him in my stead. “I do not need the Dick and Gabriel Secret Service Detail!”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you to take care of yourself. Between the letters and the pranks, I was scared. I just wanted to protect you.”
“Which is probably what put me in danger. Jackass,” I said, halfheartedly slapping at his arm.
“I love you. Love you so much,” he whispered into my neck. “I don’t know what I would have done if you’d been … I am a huge jackass.”
“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I told him, ignoring Andrea when she said, “That’s just sad.”
“She’s fine,” Dick said. “Really, Gabe. She’s going to be OK. She’s a tough little nut.”
“Dick saved me,” I told Gabriel. “Without him, I would be a little pile of Jane ashes waiting to be vacuumed up.”
“Thank you,” Gabriel told Dick. Dick seemed to be waiting for a punchline, so Gabriel repeated it. “I mean it. Thank you.”
Dick would have blushed if he was capable. Instead, he made a study of the floor.
“Can I see the device?” Gabriel asked.
Dick retrieved the box, which we had wrapped in a clear plastic bag.
“The label was intact, undamaged,” Dick said, showing Gabriel the address flap. “You couldn’t even tell the box had already been taped once until you took off the second layer.”
“So, whoever it was would have had to monitor our Dumpster closely enough to wait for a barely damaged Amazon.com box with an intact label to be thrown away?” I made a face and then winced at the pressure on my burnt cheeks. “You know, I think I’m more upset by that than I am the silver thing.”
“The silver is very pure,” Gabriel observed. “I can smell it, even from here. Colloidal silver tends to be higher in concentration than the mix used in defense sprays, and this seems to be a particularly potent batch. If this had sprayed you directly in the face, instead of Andrea, you might not have survived. It would be like someone who is allergic to bee stings stepping on a hive. Your healing ability would have been overwhelmed, and you would have been stripped down to the bone. Young vampires rarely come back from injuries like that.”
“Didn’t you say your new friend Courtney runs a sterling-silver shop?” Dick asked.
“Who’s Courtney?” Gabriel asked.
“I met her at the Chamber of Commerce.”
“You belong to the Chamber of Commerce?”
“Hey, I haven’t been sitting around moping after you. I am a very busy and important woman.” Andrea gave me a smirking yet disapproving look. I amended, “I moped a little bit.”
Dick rolled his eyes. “Someone who runs a jewelry business would be pretty well versed in the different forms of silver, especially high-concentration stuff.”
“Oh, come on, guys, don’t do this,” I whined. “I really like Courtney. Well, that one, at least. I just want one normal human friend without a frightening agenda. Please don’t take that from me.”
“I think that hurts my feelings,” Andrea muttered.
“Besides, I think we all know who—” I was interrupted as Emery sauntered from the rear of the shop. He stopped and sniffed delicately at the harsh disinfectants, shuddering.
“What’s that smell? It smells like burnt popcorn in here,” he said, gagging.
“Emery, how long have you been here?” Andrea asked.
“I just arrived, Andrea, dear,” he said, offering her an overly gooey smile. “I came in the staff entrance.”
