Page 40 of The Highlander’s Dangerous Desire

“I am not fretting about visiting Niamh. I have already sent a letter to her explaining the delay, along with the letter your second-in-command sent to Lord MacDuff.” Grace reached out and tucked the blankets a little closer about Ewan’s shoulders. “My concern is entirely for you.”

Ewan’s color did look much better, but knowing that he was recovering only brought to mind something that Grace had avoided thinking about since the night of the attack.

The kiss. That fierce, powerful kiss. It had awakened feelings she hadn’t even considered having - longing, and desire. But it had also awakened uncertainty.

Why had Ewan kissed her? She was, so far as she knew, little more than a duty to him - an English lass he was tasked with escorting to her dearest friend, who happened to be kin-by-marriage. True, there was the fiction between them that she was his betrothed, but surely that was nothing more than a way to help secure his lordship.

She wanted to believe that, but the memory of his expression as he’d charged into the room - that expression had been far more intense than either duty or pretence warranted. And the kiss… how could any man kiss like that for nothing more than show? And shoe for whom, as he had been alone?

His actions were almost as confusing as her response to him. She hadn’t pushed him away - hadn’t wanted to push him away. Her first emotion, upon seeing him, had been relief. If she was being honest with herself, she had been happy, wrapped in his embrace. There was a large part of her that yearned to be in his arms again. Being in his arms had been wonderful, until he’d fallen.

Then, seeing him collapse had been terrifying.

And now there was a part of her, deep in her heart, that whispered and yearned for more. But she had no assurance that Ewan felt the same way, even if he had kissed her.

She hadn’t been able to ask him about it while he was fevered, of course. He had been too ill, and she had been too concerned with his wounds and the illness itself to think on the matter. But now that he was recovering, the question hovered in her mind like the smoke from a fire, mingled with fear and hope for what his answer might be.

“What’s wrong? Ye look like someone spat in yer wine.” Ewan’s soft question brought her out of her thoughts.

“If someone spat in my wine, as you put it, I am certain I should throw it right back in their face.” Ewan chuckled, and she felt herself relax. There was fondness, even respect, between them.

Her secret dreams might come to naught, but at least she would have the friendship they had gained over the long journey from her home in Lancaster. “It is only a small matter that I have been worrying over for some days.”

“Aye? Has someone said or done aught tae upset ye?”

“Not upset, so much as…” Grace paused. The question was there, on the tip of her tongue, and yet, she couldn’t seem to make herself speak it. “The night of the fire… I was very concerned for you.”

“An’ I fer ye. When they told me the fire had entered the castle, I was sore worried ye’d be caught in it.” Ewan shook his head. “I kent even then that ye wouldnae obey me and stay safe in hiding. ‘Tis nae yer nature.”

“No. It is not. But afterward… when the fire was put out and the attackers driven off… I had been overwhelmed by the smoke. But you… you found me…”

“After searching an’ goin’ half out o’ me mind with worry, aye.”

“And when you found me… you…” Her words tangled, tripping over themselves.

“Are ye wonderin’ about when I near broke down the door tae find ye, or when I kissed ye?” Ewan’s voice was soft.

Grace stiffened. “You recall that?”

Ewan offered her a crooked little smile. “I recall everythin’, right up until the world went black an’ I fell tae the floor at yer feet.”

“Oh.” Grace swallowed. She’d been prepared to tell him about the kiss, but realizing that he already remembered - that was different. Or perhaps it was not. “You… why did you kiss me? What on earth prompted you to do such a thing, and in such a situation? Why, you had scarce left the battlefield, and you had not even been to see the healer. What on earth was so important that you would act so carelessly?”

“I was worried fer ye.” The easy, honest admission startled her. “I wanted tae make sure ye were safe.”

“I understand that much. But, why kiss me…?”

“I didnae think about that.” Ewan reached out to her and took her hand, then gently drew her to sit on the side of his bed. Grace sat down carefully. “I could only think that I wanted tae see ye safe. Then, when I saw ye, I didnae think.”

“But…” She wasn’t sure why she kept repeating herself on the matter.

“Dae I truly have tae tell ye?” Ewan’s eyes were clear, bright, not with fever but with something deeper. “After a fortnight o’ kennin’ ye, I came tae care fer ye.”

“But, if this was just to maintain the ruse that I am… that we are…”Grace inched closer to him, her fingers twining with his.

“When I kiss a woman, ‘tis nae tae maintain any sort o’ story, nae even one o’ betrothal.” Ewan’s voice turned rough. “I kissed ye fer the same reason I searched fer ye after the battle.” He paused. “An’ I’m thinkin’ ‘twas the same reason I woke with ye at me bedside.”

Her cheeks felt hot. Grace swallowed. “Well, of course I was concerned for you…”