Page 16 of The Lady Loves A Scandal

A bitter, stilted laugh bubbled up from deep inside her, filling the space around them with a crude sort of irritation. “How can you even ask that?”

“I must know, Sybil,” he demanded, grasping the parasol from her hand a bit too forcefully and tossing it to the ground. “I needs must know where your heart lies. With me, or with this duke. I will not harbor any ill will toward either of you if you’ve found love in my absence, but I must know the truth.”

Sybil wasn’t prepared to speak on any matters of the heart, mainly because it was not only her thoughts that were confused and conflicted. Every inch of her knew she loved Gideon, yet why disclose it aloud if it led to further agony?

Guarded. That was how Garwood knew Sybil; however, she hadn’t always been that way.

Once, she’d loved openly and freely without fear.

It was not so anymore.

* * *

Gideon stared down at Sybil. His Sybil. Kind, compassionate, with a hellion streak as long as the road to Edinburgh. His nights were filled with sweet dreams of her, held tightly in his arms. His days were unending hours of longing.

The long months without her had been torturous.

He’d never known her to do what was expected. And now was no different. He needed her to reassure him that things had not changed in his absence—that she loved him, and their affection for one another could flourish once more.

Sybil was not cursed with a tendency for hesitation.

It was what Gideon admired most about her. She knew what she wanted when he so often questioned his every decision.

“Sybil?” Gideon despised the begging note in his tone.

Leaving her as he had was wrong. He’d known it at the time; however, he’d thought the news was yet another wild goose chase, as all the ones before it had been. Two or three days away…that was how long he’d expected to be away from her. Enough time to journey to Dover, check on Giles’ information, and return to London.

“The last year has been the hardest of my life,” he confessed. More difficult than even those first few months after Charles was taken and Gideon had returned home to admit to both his father and Charles’ sire what had taken place in London. Charles was gone—taken—and Gideon hadn’t any idea where. “I truly long to tell you where I’ve been, what I was doing, and why I needed to stay away. However, I cannot speak of it yet. Just know that I thought of you…survived every moment away because I knew that one day I would come home to you.”

Gideon ran his finger along her cheek, reveling in the feeling of her soft, warm skin against his.

For the briefest of moments, he thought himself too weak to keep his secrets from her. He could confess everything and know she would not breathe a word to anyone. Did they not hold many secrets between them?

Just as quickly, though, doubt set in. If he told her of his race across the country to rescue Charles, the many months spent moving from place to place as they eluded the hunters who trailed them, he would be putting her in danger. He and Charles had only retuned to London once they were confident they’d shaken the men following them; however, they couldn’t hide forever. If the hunters learned of Gideon’s identity, they would come to town and stop at nothing to take Charles back in order to collect their bounty—and his friend would be lost. Forever.

No, he couldn’t speak a word of it to anyone until there was confirmation from the Admiralty Court. The paperwork that would ratify Charles’ freedom from the press gangs. Making it so he’d never again need fear for his safety.

Until that day came, Gideon was sworn to secrecy.

“Gideon,” she said, stepping back from his touch. “I must go. Esther will likely call for the watchman if I am away for another moment.”

“Don’t go. Please.”

“I must.” Sybil collected her parasol, brushing away the leaves that clung to the delicate lace fringe.

“Allow me to make amends, even if you do not seek to renew our courtship.”

“I will speak with my brother,” Sybil said. “He will see the error in turning you away from our home.”

Why was Sybil willing to go to such lengths to mend the relationship between Gideon and her brother? It was Gideon’s place to rectify the situation, not hers. “That is too much.”

“Do you love me, Gideon?” Her brow arched high as if she expected him to hesitate as she had.

“Of course,” he confessed, throwing his arms wide. “I love you with everything I am.”

She nodded, her decision made, though Gideon was uncertain what she’d silently debated.

“I will come to you after I speak with Silas.”