Page 31 of An Affair at Stonecliffe

Carlisle turned his head and smiled at her as he rose politely to his feet, and her heart skipped in her chest. Good Lord, but the man had a smile! It was a wonder he didn’t use it to his advantage more. His face lost its implacable lines, his cool gray eyes turning welcoming and those stern lips curving in a way that made her nerves dance. Flustered, Noelle was suddenly aware that her hair must be wild after the walk, for she had forgotten to take a hat, and she was probably red in the face, as well. What in the world was wrong with her? As if it mattered if Carlisle Thorne thought her unkempt.

“It’s no intrusion,” Thorne told her. “I enjoy Gilbert’s company.” He turned toward Gil. “I used to pick up things around the estate. Odd rocks like these.”

“Really?” Gil’s face turned up to him in pleased surprise.

“Yes, indeed. My father was fond of gardens and I suppose I inherited an interest in digging around in the dirt, as well. I had a collection on a shelf in my room.”

“Can I see it?”

“I’m afraid it’s not there anymore.”

“Why? What happened to them?” Gil frowned in concern.

“I don’t know. Somewhere along the way I lost track of them.” Carlisle smiled slightly at Gil’s astounded look. “I know, it’s difficult to understand. But sometimes when you grow up you...” He shrugged. “Lose things. Perhaps they’re in the attic. We’ll ask Bennett.”

“He’ll know.” Gil held the butler in high regard. He ran over to the pond and peered into it. “I like the fish.”

“I do, too. We had a pond like that at my home when I was your age. My father and I built it—though I suspect I was of little help.” He smiled faintly, as if at some pleasant memory.

“Where’s your father?” Gil asked. “Can I meet him?”

“I’m sorry. I wish you could. I think you’d like him. But I’m afraid he passed many years ago.”

“Really?” Gil’s eyes grew round. “My papa did, too. I don’t remember him. I was just a baby.” He squatted down to study the fish. “Are these the same fish? I like that color—like fire.”

“It is a lovely color,” Carlisle agreed. “And, yes, these are the same fish. They live a very long time. We brought them to the pond in a barrel of water.” He gave a little chuckle, his face softening further. “I stood in the wagon to make sure the barrel didn’t tip over.”

Noelle smiled to herself at the image of a young Carlisle—his face no doubt set in a serious, determined expression, standing in a wagon, holding on to the barrel. “It was good of Lord Drewsbury to let you do that.”

“Yes. He was very kind to me.” He looked at her. “I wish you had had a chance to see that side of him.”

Gil jumped to his feet, seemingly having had enough of the fish. “I want to show Grandmama my things.” He darted down the path toward the house.

Noelle knew she should follow her son, not linger here. Carlisle would think she wanted to stay, to talk. Which, perversely, she did. But he would think it too bold of her. She turned to go.

“Noelle, wait.” She turned back. Carlisle took a step toward her. He hesitated, then jammed his hands in his pockets and finally said, “I wanted to ask you...what Gilbert said when we arrived—that you had told him he would be safe with me...did you say that recently?”

“No. I told him as soon as he was old enough to remember and understand what he should do.”

“But why?” He frowned. “Why would you tell him he would be safe with the man you believed was trying to kidnap him?”

“He would have been safe, wouldn’t he?” She raised her eyebrows in question.

“Yes, of course. But you were afraid of me. You did your best to escape me every time. How could Gilbert believe I wouldn’t hurt him when you were always running from the men you thought were sent by me?”

Noelle shrugged. “I didn’t tell him you were behind the pursuit. Gil was young enough he didn’t need an explanation. He just knew that bad men were chasing us.”

“But why? When you hated and feared me? I would have thought...”

“I had to be realistic. I had to take care of my child. However I felt, whatever you did, I never believed you meant Gil harm. I didn’t even believe that your intent was to harm me; I was simply the impediment in your way. And if...” Her voice caught, and she turned away, walking over to look into the pond. “If you had managed to steal Gil away, I knew how little likelihood there was that I could get him back. If anything happened to me, if he was suddenly alone in the world, I wanted him to be able to tell people where they should take him. Your name, I thought, gave him the best chance.”

“I’m sorry.” Thorne took an unconscious step closer, his hand reaching toward her before he pulled it back. A flush rose up his neck. “I am so very sorry that I frightened you. I was clumsy and angry and filled with grief and guilt when I met you. But I didn’t mean to threaten you or make you fear me. I hope you believe that. I hope that you will come to not fear me. I would never have hurt you. I will never hurt you. And I won’t let anyone else do so either. I promise.”

Something fluttered inside her chest, warming her even as it made her breathless. It would be so easy to put herself in his hands, to give over her worries and fears, knowing that his solidity and strength, his dogged persistence, his commitment to her was as real and firm as it was to Adam’s mother and son. She wanted to believe him. She ached to trust him. But did she dare? What would happen if she let down her defenses?

Noelle let out a shaky breath. “I know.” The certainty hardened within her. “I believe you.”

That transforming smile broke across his face again. “Thank you.”