Page 48 of A Scandal at Stonecliffe

“What!” Mrs. Malloy looked at her in astonishment.

“Yes, and, then he began to kiss me, and...” Verity let her voice trail off.

“Oh, my. You went to bed with him?”

“No.”

“Why ever not?” Mrs. Malloy exclaimed. “He’s a handsome lad—that smile. And such elegant manners. If I were twenty years younger, I’d have snatched him up myself.”

“You should have seen him yesterday in only his shirt and breeches.” Verity’s smile curved up reminiscently. “All sweaty and his shirt hanging open.”

“Oh, my.” Mrs. Malloy wielded an imaginary fan.

“As you can imagine, my defenses were down after that scene. And he was teasing me, his eyes twinkling in that way he has.”

“I repeat—why did you turn him down?”

“I’m not a trollop, Bettina. I’ve turned down lots of men.”

“I am aware of that. You’re the choosiest woman I know. I’ve told you many times, you need to let go and enjoy what life has to offer. It’s my opinion your Mr. Dunbridge has a lot to offer.”

“He does.” Verity’s chest tightened. “For some woman who suits him. But I’m not that woman.”

“It sounds as if he thinks so.”

“It was done in the heat of the moment. Normally he doesn’t—well, except for that once—ah, twice. But those were in the heat of the moment, too.”

“It sounds to me like you two have a lot of heated moments.”

“While we’re on this case, yes. But normally we would not even be around each other, let alone attracted. We’re thousands of miles apart in every way. He’s so...nice. So thoughtful and such a gentleman. A true gentleman, I mean, not an aristocrat. And I am none of those things.”

“What rubbish. Honestly, Verity, I’ve never known you to discount yourself before. You’re very nice. And I don’t think he’s looking for a true gentleman.”

Verity laughed. “You know what I mean. A true lady. Someone like Annabeth.”

“Rutherford’s wife?”

“Yes. Nathan was madly in love with her a year ago. I suspect he still is—or at least holds her as his ideal woman. Annabeth and I are nothing alike. I’m brash and have a wicked tongue. Not to mention, a positively lurid past. More lurid than even you know.” And yet I told Nathan all about it. “He could never marry a woman like me.”

Mrs. Malloy stared. “You want to marry him?”

“No!” Verity said quickly. “Of course not.” She looked down at her hands, considering her next words. “I don’t know what I want to have with him. But I feel a way I’ve never felt with any other man. I feel like I want to...keep him. And it scares me a little how much I want him to stay. I hate to think about what will happen when we take care of the Malcolm Douglas problem.”

“The end of the case doesn’t mean the end of you and Mr. Dunbridge.”

Verity shook her head. “When the case is done, it will be different, even if we start an affair. He’ll be doing the sort of things the upper class does, the things he’s always done. And I cannot keep up the pretense of Mrs. Billingham much longer, so I won’t be in his world after this. Once the case is gone, the excitement will leave, as well. There won’t be any rescues or attacks or things to discover. There won’t be those ‘heat of the moment’ moments.”

Verity smiled a little, remembering, then sighed. “Even if that emotion doesn’t die, eventually there will come a time when Nathan will want to marry. I cannot imagine him not wanting a wife and children. It’s simply his nature. Nathan is not the sort of man to keep a mistress on the side.” Verity’s eyes hardened. “And I’m not the sort of woman willing to share him. Someday, even if it’s not soon, someday he’ll leave.”

Bettina Malloy studied her for a moment. “I’ll admit I don’t know much about marriage. I’m not the one to give anyone advice about that. What I do know is passion. Once it’s burning, it’s hard to stop.”

“I know.” Verity nodded. “It’s not passion I fear.”

“Then what?”

“I’m not in love with him—really, I’m not—but I’m afraid I could be. No, that’s not quite right. I’m afraid because I know I would fall in love with him. And when we part, it will break my heart. I have to be sure that what I feel for him is worth the pain it will cause.”

“So you’ve finally found a risk Verity Cole won’t take.” The older woman’s smile softened her words. “What did he say when you turned him down?”