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‘Yes. He’s already promised us an order.’
‘Large enough to replace the one you would have had from Cara’s father?’
‘Why do you ask?’ His mouth twisted derisively, ‘Surely you don’t expect me to believe you feel guilty because you were instrumental in the company losing it?’
At his words a sharp pang of pain knifed through her. Nothing she could say or do would ever alter his conception of her, and the knowledge reinforced her desire to escape; to leave Garston before the explosive situation between them escalated out of control, hurting Simon as much as it had already hurt her.
‘No,’ she agreed, lifting her head proudly. A brief glance at the settee showed her that the others were deep in conversation and that for a few seconds at least she and Scott had some degree of privacy. ‘You know why I want to leave Garston, Scott. Surely what has happened between us already has proved to you that the past is best left dead? With Raschid’s contract your company will be well established—you’ll have no further need of a cut-price secretary. Please let me go.’
There was a hint of pleading in her voice, and he reacted to it strangely, his eyes dark with something that flickered on the edges of her subconscious, gone before she could recognise the indefinable emotion she had glimpsed briefly.
‘Very well then,’ he agreed tersely. ‘Once the contract is signed you can go.’ His mouth twisted. ‘To tell the truth once it is signed we shall be so busy that I won’t have time to.…’
‘Get full value out of the situation you’ve forced me into?’
‘Careful.’ The blue eyes darkened instantly. ‘You don’t want me to change my mind and insist on keeping you, do you?’
Keeping her! He would never know how much she yearned for him to do just that. But she wanted his motivation to be love not hatred; she wanted the impossible she told herself jeeringly as he moved away and she completed her task.
For Philippa the remainder of the evening passed in a daze. Once or twice she was conscious of Scott’s eyes resting on her, but whenever she looked up he glanced away before she could read his, expression. He had agreed to let her go so easily; far more easily than she had expected. Did that mean his hatred for her was lessening or was it simply that he was growing tired of tormenting her?
‘Philippa, are you all right?’ Eve was watching her worriedly. Poor Eve, she so desperately wanted the sort of fairytale ending that Philippa knew was impossible. Even though she had admitted to Eve that she still loved Scott, part of her recoiled from his angry bitterness even while she understood it. Nothing could dim or lessen her own love, but it was not enough to pierce the barriers Scott had erected around himself. Had he still been the Scott she had known, she would have been able to tell him the truth—that she was unable to stay because of her love for him, but the Scott he had become would simply use that admission to hurt her. What wouldn’t she give to wipe out the past; to wipe the bitter cynicism from Scott’s face and to restore to his eyes the look of love and wonder she had once seen there. She was asking for the impossible, she reminded herself bitterly. Scott would never look at her like that again. She had destroyed that look, and it made not the slightest difference that she had acted, mistakenly she now realised, for his protection. He had condemned her.
CHAPTER NINE
‘HONESTLY, Scott, I don’t know what’s the matter with you,’ Eve scolded her son. ‘You’ve just said that you’ve got the contract. Raschid is having all the documents drawn up—such a charming man,’ she said in an aside to Philippa, ‘he even made my heart beat faster, although I noticed you seemed immune to him.’
Philippa knew quite well what Eve was trying to do, and for both their sakes she had to stop it.
‘Seemed is probably the operative word,’ she said lightly, ‘I seriously doubt that there’s a woman alive who could remain indifferent to Raschid’s persuasive flattery for very long.’
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Scott’s frown deepen. So did Eve. ‘I don’t know why you aren’t more excited about this contract,’ she complained to her son. ‘You really ought to take Philippa out to celebrate. After all if it hadn’t been for her connection with Sir Nigel.…’
‘That had nothing to do with Scott getting the contract,’ Philippa felt bound to point out. ‘Sir Nigel knew a great deal about Computex long before I came to work for Scott. He has an eye for up-and-coming business, following their progress is almost a hobby with him.’
‘Mother is right.’
Philippa stared up into Scott’s shuttered face, wondering what it was about the intimacy of the breakfast table that brought this unignorable ache to her heart. His jaw, newly shaven, enticed her to reach out to touch the smooth skin, so much so that she had to forcibly resist the temptation. Her love for him seemed to increase with every day that passed and she lived in mortal fear of betraying to him how she felt. It would be like setting alight explosives. How he would relish her weakness.…
‘We ought to go out and celebrate,’ he continued, watching her. ‘After all I owe you something for all the hard work you’ve put in. Philippa plans to leave us shortly, Mother,’ he added without turning his head in Eve’s direction, ‘so taking her to dinner will also be in the nature of a farewell pa
rty.’
No, no, I can’t endure it, Philippa screamed silently inside. The words even trembled on her lips, but Scott would surely interpret them as a betraying sigh of weakness. Quelling her strong urge to refuse she forced a shaky smile. ‘That’s very kind of you.’
‘Good, I’ll make the arrangements. We’ll go out tonight.’ He pushed back his chair and stood up, ‘Oh, and by the way, why don’t you wear that pink thing you had on the other night, it suited you.’
It was only after he had gone that Philippa allowed herself the luxury of examining his last words, as carefully as though they were primed bombs, looking for the insult she felt sure was wrapped up somewhere in the softly spoken words.
‘Oh, Philippa, I’m so glad you accepted his invitation.’ Eve glowed with anticipation.
‘His invitation?’ Philippa emphasised wryly. ‘Eve, it won’t do any good. You heard what Scott said. I’ll be leaving soon.’
‘But you love him.’
‘Too much to stay. Surely you can see that? He hates me, Eve, so much that I can almost feel it.’
‘He does feel very strongly towards you,’ Eve agreed, ‘but hate and love can sometimes become so inextricably mingled that we can’t even tell which is which ourselves. Remember, Philippa, that according to Scott’s reasoning he has every reason to hate and despise you. Add to that the fact that he is still very strongly attracted to you physically, and it’s bound to cause something extremely explosive, perhaps almost violently so. I’m not completely blind, you know,’ she added calmly, surveying Philippa’s flushed face. ‘Simon told me about seeing Scott in your room. Remember this, Philippa, Scott wouldn’t have been there unless he wanted to be.’
