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‘Effective, certainly. Didn’t it ever occur to you though that there might have been a cleaner way? It was like slow poison, making me die slowly, and the only thing that kept me from succumbing completely was my need to survive to show you that you’d chosen the wrong man.’
‘It’s all a long time ago now.’ She felt so tired that all she wanted to do was to close her eyes and sleep. ‘Perhaps now you understand why I was so anxious to get Simon away. I had no idea until we came here that he knew the identity of his father.’
‘He told me that you said it wasn’t my fault that I’ve never been there for him. He said you told him that he was conceived in love and that he musn’t blame me because we weren’t married.’
‘I didn’t want him to think badly of you; to feel that you rejected him.’
‘Very gracious of you.’ The angry snarl caught her off guard, and she stared up uncomprehendingly into his dark face. ‘I hope now you’ll understand why he was so… so jealous of Cara.…’
‘Yes.’
‘I think now that the sooner we leave.…’
‘Leave? His voice was dangerously soft. ‘Oh, you’re not leaving, Philippa, at least not unless you want to leave without my son. Simon and I have had a long talk this morning, once I’d managed to calm his hysterics. He wants to stay here.’ He saw the colour drain out of her face and laughed harshly, ‘He wants to stay with me, Philippa.…’
‘But.…’
‘But what? You’ll be very gracious again and allow him to spend part of his holidays with me? Is that what you were going to say?’
He had stolen the words from her lips and she could only stare up at him with growing apprehension. ‘Not good enough,’ he drawled softly, ‘Simo
n is my son, and I want him with me. My mother wants him too. He is her grandson after all.…’
‘But you can’t do that… Simon’s place is with me.’
‘With both of us.’
Her mouth went dry. ‘Scott, I don’t know what you’re suggesting but.…’
‘What I’m suggesting is we do what we ought to have done eleven years ago. We’re getting married, Philippa, and we’re going to give our son the unity of a proper family circle; something I think we both owe him, don’t you? We both know what it’s like growing up without both parents, so don’t try telling me that he’s happy. He wants and needs me, Philippa, and he wants and needs you as well.’
‘And you’re suggesting we get married because of that?’
‘Can you think of a better reason?’ His voice was taut with barely suppressed exhaustion. ‘Don’t you think we owe it to him? Don’t you think he has the right to a little happiness; a little security? I could fight you for custody in the courts I suppose, but I have no intention of subjecting Simon to the trauma of a court battle between his parents.’
‘This morning you didn’t even know he existed and now.…’
‘If I had known he existed, we’d never be in this situation now. If I’d known you were carrying my child we’d have been married eleven years ago, no matter what protests you made. Damn you, Philippa, did you honestly believe I’d let my grandfather dictate my life to me? Did you honestly think I would marry someone else when you knew how I felt about you…?’
‘You’ve changed so much, Scott.’ She shivered. ‘I don’t think I can marry you, not even for Simon’s sake.… There’s nothing left of the Scott I once loved.…’
‘There’s nothing left of him because you destroyed him,’ he said savagely. ‘You took my heart and you ripped it apart. Do you think anyone suffers an ordeal like that and remains as they were? You either give up or you get tough.…’
‘I can’t marry you.’
‘You can and you will. As a matter of fact, I’ve already told Sir Nigel of our plans. He most definitely approves.’
He turned his back on her. ‘I’m not going to argue with you about it, Philippa, either you marry me and give our son the kind of stable home life he needs and deserves, or I fight you in the courts to take him away from you. I can give him much more than you ever could,’ he warned her, ‘and he wants to be with me. I’ll leave you to think about it.’
‘I want to see Simon.’
‘He’s been upset enough for one day. You can see him later. Doctor Forbes said you had to rest.…’
Rest? How could she rest after the bombshell Scott had just dropped. Of all the outcomes she had dreaded should he ever discover about Simon, marriage had been the last to cross her mind. She didn’t want to marry him; in many ways he was a stranger to her, and yet he was Simon’s father, and it was true that Simon loved and wanted him. It was a dilemma to which there was no easy solution, and she gave in mindlessly to the drug Dr Forbes had given, letting sleep suck her down into a merciful state of limbo.
The next time she opened her eyes it was dusk. Eve was sitting with her again, and she smiled warmly as Philippa opened her eyes. ‘You must be hungry. I’ll get Mrs Robinson to prepare you a tray.’
‘No, please, I… I’d like to talk. Scott wants us to get married,’ she said abruptly.
