Page 52 of Gold and Good Sense

Tears sprang to her eyes without her permission, and she could think of no response.

Her expression must have spoken for her. “What is wrong, Elizabeth? Are you to turn me down again? Am I truly not worthy of you?” The anguish she felt in her heart was mirrored in his words.

His pain gave her enough courage to speak through the tears that clogged her throat. “You are only proposing because Papa forced you to,” she said. “You wouldn’t be doing this were it not for that. That hurts, Mr. Darcy.” She could say no more.

Mr. Darcy’s hand came to his forehead forcefully enough to almost be called a slap. Then it drifted down to cover his eyes. “Please don’t think it, Elizabeth,” was all he could say for a moment.

Just that short sentence assuaged some of her pain, enough so that the tears no longer threatened to spill over, retreating back to whence they came.

He removed his hand from his eyes and said, “I have been among society long enough that I can carry on a meaningless conversation with aplomb, but the more important the topic becomes, the more emotionally charged the conversation, the less my words are capable of conveying any real meaning.”

Elizabeth knew this to be true. She had witnessed it many times. She had been the recipient of this same awkwardness more times than she could count. She had also seen how he had conversed so much more easily with others than with herself.

It suddenly dawned on her that this might explain his standoffishness when they first met.

Her supposition was borne out when he said, “With you it has been thus since the beginning. I was interested in you simply because my uncle had taken an interest in your family, but it was not long into that first dinner before I became very aware of how truly beautiful you are. Your smile, your wit, the intelligence that lights up your eyes. They all point to a woman who truly understands the world and chooses to be happy. I could not prevent myself from admiring you.”

He paused. Then he said, “I just realized that I was saying the wrong thing again by implying that I had tried to prevent it.” He grunted in frustration. “Elizabeth…” he began, but he could say nothing else.

Suddenly, his arms were around her, and he bent to bring his lips to hers. His kiss conveyed everything he couldn’t say, and it said it clearly enough that Elizabeth heard it all the way down to her toes.

She did her best to respond in kind, and the kiss lengthened into a full conversation, allowing each of them to express what was deepest in their hearts.

When they broke apart, Mr. Darcy said in a husky voice, “Elizabeth, I love you. I have always loved you. I was going to ask you to marry me tomorrow, even before your father pressured me into it. Please, Elizabeth, please say you’ll marry me. I know I am not an eloquent man…”

Elizabeth stopped his self-deprecating words by placing a finger on his lips. “You are quite eloquent enough for me,” she said. “I cannot say when it began, for you have long been my favorite company, but I love you now so dearly. Of course, I will marry you. I could not bear life any other way.”

She sealed her answer with another kiss, one which lasted just as long as the first.

Eventually, the happy couple returned inside and informed her father that the engagement was formed. Papa took great pleasure in making the announcement during one of the breaks between dances, but Elizabeth barely noticed. Her heart and mind were full of wonder about how fortunate she was, how much she loved Mr. Darcy, and how she now understood how very much he loved her.

Chapter 28

Thomas Bennet sat on the side of the drawing room pretending to read while in truth he was enjoying listening to his dear wife discuss wedding clothes and plans for the wedding breakfast with Elizabeth. Jane and Lydia were part of the conversation as well, each adding enthusiasm, encouragement, and excitement in their own individual ways.

Mary was not part of the discussion. She was sitting in the window seat staring up at the night sky through the window.

Eventually, his curiosity grew enough to force him out of his seat, and he made his way over to Mary. “What are you dreaming of?” he asked.

It was not a question he would have even thought of asking before his brother came back into his life. Back then, he viewed his family with distant affection, but mostly they were all a source of entertainment to him as he laughed silently, and sometimes not so silently, at their foibles.

Now, however, he had become much more interested in the lives of those who depended on him, for he realized how very much of their happiness truly rested on his shoulders.

“I was just letting my thoughts drift where they may,” said Mary, her attention still focused outside.

“And where did they drift?” he asked.

Mary looked at him directly, silently questioning whether he truly wished to know. He held her gaze.

Eventually, she broke the connection and returned to looking outside, though she was no longer looking up.

“As I said, the thoughts are not fully formed, but I was thinking that it might be nice to live somewhere…else. Somewhere that I am not Mary Bennet, the plainest and most awkward of the Bennet sisters. I don’t mind being Mary Bennet, the heiress. That is an identity that gives me choices. But the first limits what I can do with my life greatly and severely limits how much I can learn and grow.”

“Would you like to go back to London?” he asked.

Mary shrugged. “I hadn’t gone so far as to think of a destination. I suppose any city large enough to house a good lending library would be pleasant. While I do not wish to spend all my time studying, I do wish to have the opportunity to continue my education for as long as there is something new to learn.”

“I would not mind sending you somewhere to live with Mrs. Jamison for company, if that is truly what you wish,” he said. “But we shall miss you here. Perhaps there is middle ground, for I fully expect for us to return to London in the winter and most of the spring. While there, you could be the heiress for nearly half the year. Would that be sufficient?”