Page 75 of Tricks for Free

“I think we need you as the anesthesiologist if we ever have to take him to a human hospital for some reason,” I said.

Megan’s smile was half-feral, and very full of teeth. “My rates are reasonable, and I’m not the only Pliny’s gorgon working in the medical field.”

“That’s good to know.” I stood, beginning to gather the wreckage from our pizza party. Fern got up and joined me. “How long are they going to be out?”

“No more than ten, maybe fifteen minutes,” said Megan. She didn’t get up to help us. Maybe she felt like she’d already done her part. Even her snakes seemed calmer, twining around themselves in a serpentine parody of a braid. “I didn’t put a lot of oomph behind it.”

“Can you modify the, ah, ‘oomph’ on the fly, or is this one of those things where you have to call your attacks before the GM rolls?” I asked.

Megan blinked at me slowly before she snorted. “Sometimes I forget how much of a nerd you are,” she said. “I have to ‘call my attacks,’ as you put it, before my target’s eyes are closed. So if you point me at someone and say they need to be out, make sure not to get in the way.”

The thought of winding up a lawn ornament because I got in the path of one of my own allies wasn’t appealing. I nodded. “Got it. Can human magic-users deflect your gaze?”

“Not so far as I know,” said Megan. “My dad’s pretty paranoid. I bet he would have told me.”

“Awesome,” I said.

Fern and I finished cleaning up while Sam and Cylia slept. Sparing them the physical labor seemed only fair, given that we were responsible for their current condition. Fern did pause to look at Cylia and sigh wistfully.

“I wish I wouldn’t feel like a jerk for drawing all over them,” she said.

I snorted.

“Anyone drawing on me is going to get a bucket of water dumped over their head when they least expect it,” said Sam.

I started a little, surprised. “You’re awake?” I glanced at the clock. It had been roughly six minutes since Megan knocked him out. Not quite the ten to fifteen she’d guessed, but that made sense: he hadn’t gone down until he’d changed forms. He must still have a certain degree of resistance.

“Can’t quite convince anything to move, but yeah,” he said. “It feels like my whole body went to sleep.”

“Can you change forms?”

“Not sure.” Sam’s brow furrowed. It was like watching someone try to shake off a shot of Novocain after a trip to the dentist. He relaxed again. “No. Which would be less upsetting if this hadn’t just happened.”

“It’s muscle control, not anything more serious,” said Megan soothingly. I had never heard her break out the doctor voice before. She saw me staring and flashed me a thumbs-up. “As soon as the paralysis wears off a little more, you’ll be fine. It’s unusual for you to even be awake right now.”

“I’m an unusual guy,” said Sam, and opened his eyes. His lips twitched as he tried to frown. “Your ceiling is dull.”

“So paint it,” I said.

“So don’t,” said Fern. “Lowry doesn’t allow employees to paint their company-owned living areas.”

“So move,” said Sam, and transformed, skin rippling and limbs lengthening, until the monkey-man I had come to see as the real him—the him that mattered, the him I was rapidly falling in love with—was stretched out on my floor. Immediately, he leaped to his feet, displaying a level of muscular control that was virtually unthinkable in a human athlete, and stretched, fingertips brushing the ceiling.

“Better,” he said.

“Agreed,” I said. Sam smiled at me, shyly again, and for a moment, I almost forgot that I wasn’t allowed to touch him yet.

Fern cleared her throat. I jerked back.

“As soon as Cylia’s awake, we can move,” she said. “Is there a plan? Or were we just going to storm the castle? Because Lowryland has a lot of castles. I don’t think we should go storming them all willy-nilly.”

It felt like it should have been the middle of the night. A glance at the clock confirmed that it was only half past six. The media buildings would be closed. The cabal would still be there. Colin and Emily never seemed to leave before nine, and half the time my “lessons” had been held when the world was dark, on the days when I had morning shifts to deal with.

“Here’s the plan: kick their asses.” I looked at Cylia, sprawled on the floor like a dead thing. “Make them understand that they fucked with the wrong group of weirdoes. And then get the fuck out of here.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Sam, and cracked his knuckles with a sound like a small-caliber handgun going off. “Let’s rock.”

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