Page 87 of Night and Silence

Tybalt was putting the finishing touches on what looked like an entire picnic basket full of sandwiches when we walked in. We both stopped in the doorway, blinking. May spoke first.

“Are we feeding the neighbors?” she asked. “Because I don’t even know most of the neighbors. There’s that old guy two doors down who always glares at me like I kicked his dog. I don’t want to give him a sandwich. I’d be happy to give it to the dog, though.”

“You may have two,” said Tybalt imperiously. “The rest are for October.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “How much do you think I’m going to eat?”

“As many sandwiches as you can fit in your mouth during the drive,” he said. “I will feed you if you have concerns about keeping your hands on the wheel. I would prefer to feed you, as I have concerns about your keeping your hands on the wheel. But you have lost substantially more blood today than I care for, and as you seem unwilling to take steps to replace it, it seems I must step up and do a husband’s duty even before we are wed.”

“If you decide you don’t want him, I’ll take him,” said May.

“You don’t like men,” I said.

“I can make an exception,” she insisted. “Jazz will understand.”

Tybalt laughed, and somehow that was the best sound the world had ever known. It was good enough to lure me across the kitchen to his side, where I had time to kiss him before he handed me the first sandwich.

“Roast beef and cheese, with blackcurrant jam,” he said. “Eat, or I shall stop catering the menu to your idiosyncratic taste in cuisine and start feeding you like a sensible person.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, and took a bite of sandwich. It tasted better than it had any right to, and my stomach growled in sudden approving hunger. Tybalt was right about one thing: I had done too much bleeding and not enough eating. I swallowed. “Where’s Raj?”

“Returned to the Court of Cats to hold sway in my absence.” Tybalt’s smile faded. “He has been doing an excellent job of late, picking up the things I had allowed to fall away. I do not deserve such a fine heir.”

“I think he’d disagree with you.” Raj’s father had led a brief-lived rebellion against Tybalt, and he’d died for his crimes. It would have been easy—even understandable—for Tybalt to cast Raj out in the aftermath of Samson’s actions. Instead, he had taken the boy even more concretely as his own. They weren’t related. They were unquestionably family.

“Perhaps so.” He turned to offer a shallow bow to May. “Milady Fetch. The return of my betrothed is appreciated, but we must to Muir Woods if I’m to convince her to sleep any time in the near future.”

“That’s fine,” said May. She snagged two sandwiches from the tray, waving one of them amiably before she added, “You kids have fun out there,” and retreated to the hall.

Tybalt picked up the tray.

“You can’t be serious,” I said.

“Oh, but I am. If I can convince you to eat every one of these, I will go to my grave a happy man.”

I blinked. “No.”

“Not in the near future, little fish. But someday, when all my lives are spent, I can still count myself a fortunate man, for I will have spent the greatest number of them with you.” He kissed my temple as he walked by me to the door.

I sighed. “You have got to stop defusing every conversation you don’t want to have by talking like something out of a Regency romance.”

Tybalt opened his mouth, like he was going to say something. Then he stopped, ducked his head, and said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how else to be. I am . . . I’m frightened, October. I’m trying to find my way out of the darkness I’ve been cast into, and levity seems a safe enough shield. I would not cause you harm if I had any choice.”

It should have been funny, him standing there with a tray of sandwiches, apologizing to me. It wasn’t. I shook my head as I looked at him. “You’re not hurting me, and you’re not going to hurt me by needing help, okay? I didn’t agree to marry you because I wanted everything to be moonlight and roses forever. I can’t even manage that on my own, much less with another person. I love you. I want to help you. The only way you’re going to hurt me is by refusing to let me at least try.”

He took a deep, shaky breath, holding it for a moment before he let it out and said, “Then let us hurry out, so that we may return home, together, and begin.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said. We left the kitchen, and I had hope. Maeve help me, I had hope.

TWENTY-FOUR

ARDEN GLARED AT MADDEN as she said, “All right. Call me when you’re ready to come home and I’ll open a gate for you. Which wouldn’t be necessary if I were allowed to go to Portland with you.”

“And you’d be able to come with me if you weren’t the Queen in the Mists, but you are, and that means you can’t just pop into neighboring kingdoms without it being a big diplomatic thing,” said Madden patiently. This conversation had clearly been ongoing since the decision to go to Silences had been finalized. “Stay here, Ardy. Take care of your Court, keep an eye on Nolan, and trust us to act in your best interests. That’s why you have us, right? So that you don’t have to do everything by yourself.”

Arden looked like she was going to argue again. That was my cue. I cleared my throat, pulling everyone’s attention onto me.

“Look,” I said. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have things I want to do tonight. Important things, like eating a lot of ice cream and crying. So can we do this? Please?”