Page 138 of Velveteen vs. The Consequences of Her Actions

“I’d call him ‘Tag,’ if I were you,” said Uncertainty. “His current paramour doesn’t take it well when people insult him, and intentionally using a code name he never chose and repudiated as soon as he was able is definitely something she would consider insulting.”

“Whatever,” scoffed Firecracker. “He was a dweeb when we were kids and I’m sure he’s a dweeb now, even if he’s a dweeb who managed to get an overrated bunny girlfriend and move to the top of everybody’s it-list.”

Silence followed her statement, broken by the sound of wood splintering as Action Dude clenched his hands on the edge of the conference table. It was solid oak, treated to stand up to higher than usual levels of abuse. It never stood a chance.

“I will forgive your rudeness because you were on his junior team, and I know as well as anyone that there are things we don’t entirely outgrow,” he said, voice gone cold. “But I won’t forgive you for insulting Vel. She’s never done anything to you.”

“She got me beaten to a pulp by a lake when she and her little allies came to take the company, and then she didn’t even have the good grace to keep it,” said Firecracker bitterly. “And then suddenly being an animus is so so special, when it’s always been a third-string power that no one really wanted.”

“When manifesting a specific power set is enough to get you killed, yes, you’re unlikely to want it,” said Dotty, voice gone icy. “Supermodel was killing all the animus heroes for generations. There should be hundreds of them. Instead, we have two. That isn’t something to be smug about.”

The American Dream was more succinct. They looked expressionlessly at the pyrokinetic, then waved a hand toward the door. “You may be a member of the team and an adjunct member of the board, but you’re not a CEO, and I think you should leave.”

Firecracker sputtered. “I’m allowed to have opinions, you know,” she said, letting the front legs of her chair thud back to the floor. “I don’t have to like the bunny girl to be a member of this team, even if Action Dude still has a thing for her.”

“You are allowed to have opinions, and we are allowed to react to them,” said Uncertainty. “You are neither being silenced nor suppressed when we ask you to please exit the room and consider your words more carefully in the future.”

Firecracker stood and stormed out of the conference room, her high-heeled boots clattering on the tasteful tile floor. She tried to slam the door behind herself. It refused, the soft-close hinges preventing it from doing more than drifting shut at its own pace. She made a frustrated noise and continued to storm away, stomping down the hall.

Dotty Gale waited until the sound of Firecracker’s footsteps faded, then picked up her water tumbler and took a careful sip. “Well, we know the answer to whether she’s a good witch or a bad witch,” she said.

Action Dude barked a single pained laugh.

“Why are you worked up right now, anyway?” asked the American Dream. “You’ve known Vel was dating someone else for a while now. I’m just glad he’s not a corpse anymore. Necrophilia is weird, even when the corpse can technically consent.”

“Tag has filed his formal resurrection paperwork,” said Action Dude.

The American Dream continued to look at him, bewilderment writ clear across their features. They shrugged. “And? I’m not following why that’s a bad thing.”

“He’s registered himself in the Portland area,” said Action Dude. “He’s planning to stay with Velveteen.”

“Again, I say, and? She’s his girlfriend. I’d move in with Night Shift if she would let me. Can you just picture the tabloids? ‘Grammatical disaster: plural and singular they share living arrangements.’”

“They would find a way to make their lurid writeup far more clever than that,” said Dotty Gale. “We must never underestimate our friends in the third estate, for they control the narrative in the most foundational ways possible. Propaganda is a weapon beyond parallel.”

“And on that positive note,” said Action Dude. He stood, letting the bits of table he’d broken off fall to the floor. “I need to get to Portland before someone in the Superhuman Monitoring Department gets this update and decides they need to intervene.”

He left the room, leaving the others to look at one another in bemusement. He at least waited until he was a safe distance away before he lifted his feet off the ground and accelerated like a bullet train, the sonic boom generated by his flight rolling down the hall and rattling the windows.

The American Dream blinked. They turned to Uncertainty. “Should I go after him?”

“When you do, this ends without bloodshed. When you don’t, it doesn’t,” said Uncertainty. “The choice remains your own.”

“This would be a lot easier if you would just tell us what we’re supposed to do.”

“Perhaps, but then what would you do when I wasn’t here?” asked Uncertainty, and vanished.

Dotty Gale sighed, standing and offering her hand to the American Dream. “When’s your date?” she asked.

“Seven,” said the American Dream.

“Oh, don’t worry. We’ll have you back in plenty of time.”

An impossible wind whipped up around the two of them, and when it settled, they were gone, leaving the conference room empty save for the anxious-looking secretary who had been taking notes for the meeting. After glancing nervously around, she wrote “adjourned” at the bottom of her legal pad and rose.

She needed coffee more than she had been aware was physically possible.

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