Page 50 of Velveteen vs. The Consequences of Her Actions

“That sounds awful,” said Action Dude, sounding bemused and a little horrified. Velveteen didn’t say anything at all.

“It was, and it wasn’t,” said Jacqueline. “Some of those versions of me let themselves freeze, either because it was easier, or because they didn’t find any friends worth thawing for. They call themselves ‘Frostbite’ or ‘Glacier,’ and they don’t care that they’re cold, and they’ll all be Jack Frost’s replacement someday. Others thawed too much, and they live in heavy coats and never take off their gloves for fear of the cold, and they’re going to be our mother’s heir, and they hate it. They call themselves ‘Snow Princess,’ usually. They try so hard. That’s probably the worst outcome, because no matter what they do, our mother won’t love them, and they won’t stop trying.”

“And then there’s you,” said Velveteen.

“And then there’s me,” agreed Jacqueline. “My mother—the version of the Snow Queen who made me—realized she was never going to love me, and told my father to get rid of me. She said she couldn’t stand the sight of my face. So he took me to Santa, because he’s not cruel. Jack Frost is the playful side of the season. He’s killed his fair share of people who didn’t come in out of the cold. He’s never done it without a good reason.”

“Santa and his wife adopted you,” said Velveteen. “They thawed you. All the way down to the bone.”

“Hence the snow globes,” said Jacqueline. “I’m still enough Jack Frost that I can travel through a swirl of snow, but I can’t make it for myself. Santa has them made for me, to get me out of trouble.”

Velveteen looked at her steadily for several seconds. Jacqueline didn’t look away. Finally, in a voice gone dead and dull from exhaustion, Velveteen asked, “Where’s Jackie?”

“Everyone who serves a season is an archetype as much as they’re an individual. You know that. You know what each season would have asked you to become. Because I was born there, I had choices. Different ways for me to be. I could be Frostbite, the cruel edge of Winter, not caring who I froze, as long as I never had to thaw. I could be the Snow Princess, guiding travelers home, risking myself against an uncaring cold to make sure that there was safety in the storm. I could be Jacqueline Claus, a girl who existed because of kindness, spreading and magnifying that same kindness through the holiday season. Or I could be Jackie Frost, always hungry, always reaching for more. Selfishness without malice. Self-protection without persecution.”

“What happens to a seasonal archetype who acts against their nature?” Memory was starting to slither into the forefront of Velveteen’s mind, slow and implacable and undeniable. A frozen world; a challenge unanswered; a transformative shell of ice and snow that had been somehow warm, like it wanted her to be safe more than it wanted her to be possessed. She hadn’t seen Jackie craft the dome that had kept her from the cold long enough for Winter to remake her, but she hadn’t really needed to see Jackie. She’d known that the other girl had been there.

“It depends on what they did,” said Jacqueline. She looked at Velveteen, and while she didn’t nod, she didn’t have to: her expression of resigned acknowledgment was enough. “For someone who was the selfish side of Christmas, it would seem like acting to save a friend was within their archetype, right? Selfishness endangering the world. Unless that person knew that saving their friend would come with consequences. Unless they put someone else’s good ahead of their own. That would be an act of selflessness. That would be enough to cost.”

“How much?”

“Everything.” Jacqueline shook her head. “It cost her the world, and it cost me my world, and now everyone acts like this is where I’ve always been. Even Papa. He says I’ve always been his daughter, and I want to believe him, because it would be easier, but I can’t.”

“Wait.” Action Dude put up his hand. They both turned to face him. “Are you saying someone revised reality, and rewrote all our memories, because this Jackie person kept Vel from dying?”

“I never said she saved Velma’s life,” said Jacqueline.

“You didn’t have to,” said Action Dude. “I mean, we studied you in class, after it became clear that the holidays weren’t going to leave Vel alone. You’re the charitable Spirit of the Season. The kid who gives all her presents away, who skips lunch so her classmates can eat. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body. Now you’re telling me that you used to be this Jackie girl?”

“No,” said Jacqueline. “I was never her. I could have been. I wasn’t. And I honestly don’t know if…if I was pulled out of my own reality and into hers, or if I’m her, rewritten. Either way, I don’t remember being her. I just know that I’m not supposed to be here.”

Action Dude looked from Jacqueline to Velveteen and back again before he said conversationally, “You know, I figured that when I ran away from home to join the fight, shit would get weird. I just didn’t think it would happen this fast.”

“It’s happened faster,” said Jacqueline. “Not often, but I mean, it’s possible.”

“You’re joining the fight?” asked Velveteen. There was a tremulous note of hope in her voice, something that would have sounded more natural coming from the girl she’d been back when she’d still believed the world was good, and that a boy named Aaron Frank would always be her hero. “Really?”

“You were always what it took to make him take a stand,” said Yelena. She sounded amused. She sounded tired. These two things were far from contradictory. They were conjoined, entwined like the brambles that surrounded the castle.

Velveteen turned. Yelena was standing on the edge of the castle wall, leaning against one of the gargoyles. She was still wearing the top of her black ball gown, but the skirt was gone, replaced by black leggings.

She smirked at Velveteen’s expression. “Can’t really fly quietly in six layers of satin. Torrey thinks it’s great—this isn’t her era, but at least people aren’t running around half-naked all the time. I think it’s a little confining.”

“When you spend your whole adult life in spandex, I guess it would be,” said Velveteen. “You going to attack me too?”

“Nah.” Yelena’s smirk melted into a weary smile. “I missed you too much for that. You scared the hell out of us, Velma. We didn’t think you were ever coming back. And then the spin machine started up, and by the time we realized what was happening, it was too late.”

“How long have you been standing there?” asked Jacqueline uneasily.

“Long enough to hear you say that this isn’t your world, and that you’re supposed to be some girl that none of us remembers, except for apparently Vel, who was there when she disappeared.” Yelena shook her head. “You should talk to Torrey. She can tell you a few things about living in a world that’s not your own. I just wish you’d said something.”

“The world’s healed up around me. It’s patched the holes where Jackie should have been. Like I told Vel, I honestly don’t know whether I was pulled here from another reflection, or whether I was her and got remade into me. Either way, I know I shouldn’t be here because I’m being punished for her sins. I just don’t know if it’s Aurora punishing Jackie by making her me, or the Snow Queen punishing me for not being her.”

“I think this is giving me a headache,” said Action Dude.

“Welcome to the club,” said Yelena. She sounded faintly amused. “See, if you’d just broken your corporate programming sooner, you could have been over the initial culture shock by now, and have joined the rest of us in dull acceptance of the fact that this the way the world works now.”

“Brat,” said Action Dude.