Page 35 of Marriage and the Midlife Crisis

“It was, initially. That’s why I inquired about joint sessions with my husband, but yesterday…” My voice broke, and I took a deep shuddering breath. “Yesterday, I found out he cheated on me over the weekend.”

Kim gave me a look filled with sympathy and understanding. “I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that,” she began, then asked some follow-up questions.

Fifteen minutes later, I’d word-vomited everything and by the time my rambling came to a stop, my throat was dry and my voice was cracking.

Kim gestured toward one of the bottles of water, and I reached for it, sipping on it gratefully as she gave a wry smile.

“Well, that’s a lot for us to unpack.”

I couldn’t help but snort at her matter-of-fact statement.

“Yes,” I agreed.

“Do you think this was a one-time thing, or have you suspected he’s cheated before?”

That thought had never occurred to me until right this very moment. My chest felt as if I’d been hit by a line drive, knocking the breath from my lungs. I gasped without realizing it, until Kim looked at me sharply.

“Melanie, are you all right?”

The concern in her voice snapped me back to the moment, and I inhaled shakily as I nodded.

“Yes, I just…hadn’t thought of that until now. I don’t think he’s done it before, but then again, before yesterday I would have sworn on my life that he would never cheat, so what the hell do I know?” Bitterness dripped from every word, and I swiped angrily at a tear that rolled down my cheek.

“I need to get tested for STIs,” I whispered, more to myself than to Kim. I was horrified at the thought. That was something I never, ever imagined having to do again in this lifetime.

Kim nodded sadly. “If there’s even a possibility that he has been unfaithful before, then yes, I would advise that right away.” She paused, then asked, “Are you OK to continue?”

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I think so.”

“Let’s tackle the most pressing issue,” Kim suggested. “You told Ryan you want a divorce. Was that something you said in anger in the heat of the moment, or did you mean it?”

“Yes, I definitely want a divorce if he cheated,” I stated emphatically, trying to ignore the bile rising in my throat.

“If he cheated? You aren’t sure?” Her prodding was gentle but determined.

“I…I’m sure. I mean, he says he didn’t, but I don’t believe him. I saw the guilt on his face. I know him well enough that I could tell he wasn’t giving me the full story.”

Kim nodded. “Fair enough. We can circle back to that if we need to. So, what are the immediate concerns if or when you file for divorce? How old are your boys?”

“Eighteen.”

“Twins,” she said in surprise, and I chuckled.

“Sorry, I should have added an explanation. Ryan and I were both single parents when we met. Our boys were in kindergarten together and became best friends.” I paused to take a sip of my water.

“Ryan’s ex-wife died when Garrett was almost three. My ex was just as bad at being a dad as he was at being a husband. He only saw Tanner sporadically for a few years after we divorced. By the time Ryan and I got married, Chad hadn’t seen our son in over a year.”

“That’s tough on everybody.”

I shrugged. “Luckily, Garrett was too young to remember his mother. She didn’t have custody and didn’t see him on a regular basis. And Tanner was too young to realize that other dads saw their kids all the time, so it didn’t bother him. My parents were wonderfully supportive – they still are – so that helped. Ryan and I had been talking about me legally adopting Garrett after we got married, but we didn’t want Tanner to feel left out. Ryan tracked Chad down and convinced him to give up his parental rights, so Ryan could adopt Tanner, too.”

Kim smiled broadly. “That’s amazing. I’m glad your ex finally put your son’s needs first and agreed to the termination.”

I snorted. “You’re giving that deadbeat asshole way too much credit. Chad had started working odd jobs for cash for so he could avoid his court-ordered child support payments. Ryan threatened to turn him into the child support office and the IRS if he didn’t sign the papers, and when that didn’t work, he offered him ten thousand dollars. Chad signed on the spot.”

Kim blinked, then gave me a wry smile. “Well, that works, too. It sounds as if your son is much better off without him.”

I heartily agreed. “We all are, actually. The trash took itself out.” I’d been immensely thankful that I never had to worry about Chad Mortensen ever again. When I’d run into his cousin several years ago, she’d told me that he’d moved to California a few years before that with his latest stripper girlfriend and had dropped out of touch with the few remaining relatives he had.