Page 63 of Marriage and the Midlife Crisis

“But I did find out, and it hurts, Ryan. I never dreamed you would hurt me like that, despite everything that’s happened and how much you’ve changed. I feel foolish for placing that kind of blind faith in you now.”

In the silence that followed, Kim asked softly, “Melanie, you said that Ryan needs to become the man you fell in love with again. Can you tell me about that man, that version of Ryan? How did you two first meet?”

I thought back to the very first time I met him. “Tanner was in the same kindergarten class as Garrett was, and they’d become best buddies on the very first day. They still are.” I smiled softly as I thought of our sons, who were as close as two brothers could be, regardless of DNA.

“The class went on a field trip to the zoo about a month into the school year, and I volunteered as a parent chaperone. Ryan volunteered, too. Each parent volunteer was assigned three kids to be responsible for – our own child, plus two others. Tanner and Garrett were bummed that they couldn’t be in the same group, so Ryan suggested we join forces so our two groups could explore the zoo together.”

“I would have suggested that even if the boys’ hadn’t cared about being separated, because I wanted a chance to talk to you,” Ryan reminded me.

“Ah, very sneaky,” Kim mused, and Ryan chuckled.

“It was probably for the best that we joined forces, because our boys plus one of the little girls in our combined group wanted to visit the reptile house, and I’m terrified of snakes.”

“She practically fainted at the thought of going in there,” Ryan told Kim with a laugh.

“I wasn’t that bad,” I protested, and Ryan looked at me and arched an eyebrow in challenge. OK, so he wasn’t exaggerating by much. I really did hate the slithery things.

“Anyway, I waited outside with the other three kids, while big, brave Ryan took the others through the exhibit. When they finished, the little girl spent the rest of the field trip talking about the giant anaconda, no matter how Ryan tried to distract her.”

“I made sure to get Melanie’s number and called her that night to make sure she’d survived her ordeal. We talked for almost an hour, and I asked her out to dinner the next night. We’ve been together ever since,” he finished huskily, looking at me with such sadness and regret that I had to look away so I wouldn’t cry.

“How long did you date before you got married?”

“He proposed when we’d been dating for four months, then got married a little over a year later.” An image of that night popped into my mind. Garrett had spent the night with Ryan’s dad, and Tanner was with my parents. Ryan and I had gone out for a romantic dinner, followed by a walk along the canal downtown. We went back to his place afterward and had made love for hours. The next morning I woke up to find him propped up on one elbow, staring at me. He’d cupped my cheek and told me he wanted to wake up next to me for the rest of his life and then asked me to marry him.

“Four months…that was quick,” Kim observed, drawing me back to the moment.

“I knew I wanted to marry her by the end of the first month. I made myself wait another three before I asked her because I didn’t want to scare her off,” Ryan told her.

Kim smiled, then flicked her eyes to me. “Melanie, what drew you to Ryan initially?”

I took a second to think about it. “I noticed his blue eyes first, and his smile. He was grinning at something Garrett had said, and his dimples were showing. He was so handsome, and I was afraid I’d make a fool of myself drooling over him. Then, on the field trip he was incredibly patient with the kids. He had a great sense of humor and made me laugh the entire day. He was considerate, and thoughtful, and when he spoke to someone, whether it was me or one of the kids, he gave you his full attention. As I got to know him, I realized it wasn’t just an act, or him being on his best behavior. He really was that person.”

“Was” being the operative word, and Ryan knew it. He stared at the hands he had folded in his lap as I spoke and didn’t look up until Kim asked him the same thing.

“The very first thing I noticed was how gorgeous she was. I wasn’t sure how I was going to take my eyes off her long enough to keep track of the kids I was supposed to be watching. Then I saw how loving and patient she was with Tanner, and then how natural she was with Garrett and the other kids. She was smart, and sexy, and genuine, and sweet, and I couldn’t believe my luck when she agreed to go out with me. I remember that I called Grady as soon as I got off the phone with her that night and told him all about her.”

“I didn’t know that little tidbit until Grady mentioned it in his best man’s speech at our wedding.” I smiled at the memory of Grady’s depiction of Ryan as a love-struck fool during their conversation. He’d had everyone at the reception roaring with laughter, including Ryan and me.

“He yanked my chain for years over that phone call,” Ryan chuckled, then sobered as he whispered, “God, he’d beat me senseless for the shit I’ve pulled since he’s been gone.”

I didn’t say anything, because he was probably right.

“Aside from the last two years or so, have you had any previous difficulties within your marriage, any rough patches or substantial disagreements?”

Ryan immediately said no, and I echoed it.

“We’ve had petty squabbles and arguments, or course, the normal stuff couples go through about finances, or household chores, but nothing major that I can think of. Certainly nothing that lasted more than a day or two,” I elaborated.

“Except when we remodeled the kitchen, remember? We argued about the appliances, and whether to go with granite or quartz countertops for well over a week.” He snorted softly. “I ended up sleeping in the guest room for two nights before we called a truce.”

“Well, there were extenuating circumstances, if you’ll recall. The contractor bailed on us after busting a pipe and flooding half of the first floor while he was tearing out the old kitchen, and you and Grady ended up doing the clean-up and the remodeling yourselves at night and on the weekends. I was trying to cook dinner for all of us using a microwave, a crock pot, and a single hot plate, and washing dishes in the utility sink in the laundry room for almost a month. Nerves were frayed, and tempers were running high.”

“True,” Ryan conceded with a wry smile. “God, that was rough. It was worth it in the end, because the kitchen is perfect. You did a fantastic job designing it.”

I smiled in acknowledgement of the compliment, and Kim agreed that remodeling a house was one of the most stressful tests of a marriage. “That and moving,” she said, then paused before asking, “Melanie, if someone had asked you to characterize your relationship with Ryan three years ago, what would you have said?”

“Happy. Strong. Intimate. A true partnership,” I said after a few moments.