Page 50 of Rebel Moon

“You can be chaotic. Always from a place of principles. I get that. But you’ve given her some headaches over the years.”

“And I haven’t been nice.” I pushed my empty coffee cup away. “To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things since I’ve been here. I reckon I owe you an apology for making things harder than they should be.”

Jack shrugged. “It’s okay. Talented artists are complicated. And you’re my brother. We don’t bail just because things are hard.”

“I appreciate it.”

“As far as Madeleine goes—you’re falling for her.”

“I guess I am. Or maybe I fell a long time ago.”

The server came by to take our empty plates.

“I’ve wondered, sometimes, about you two,” Jack said. “Like if the fire between you was really misdirected passion?”

“Rhett thinks I could ruin everything,” I said.

“He’s protective of Madeleine and our band. But that doesn’t mean he’s right.”

I waited to see what else he might say.

“Nothing worth doing ever comes without complications,” Jack said. “If you love her, then do whatever it takes to win her heart. She’s skittish, but under all that is the most loyal woman you’ll ever meet. Don’t let her convince you otherwise.”

“You giving me your blessing?” I asked.

“I guess I am.”

“It’s risky, though. So many things could go wrong and cause problems for the rest of you. For our band. Everything.”

“There are a lot of things that could go right,” Jack said. “Anyway, risk is what we’ve built our whole lives on. Don’t stop now.”

12

MADELEINE

December 10

First Freeze Lantern Celebration

Light flurries

Supper: Beef & barley soup · Bread bowls

Iwatched the entire gang headed out for the lantern walk from the lodge window. All bundled up for the cold, they held little glass lanterns Finley had handed out, the lights bobbing down the path into the pines like a string of large lightning bugs. Off past the trees, where the pond had cooperatively frozen on schedule for the lantern and skating night, I heard somebody shrieking with laughter and somebody else calling out to be careful.

I could have gone, but Knox couldn’t walk that far on crutches, especially on that trail in the dark. Oddly enough, I didn’t want to go without him. Which should have frightened me more than it did, but apparently good old Mindy Sue had possessed my body like a ghost.

Instead, I’d invited Knox to join me in the lodge after dinner where we could sit in the big room by the fire and enjoy a drink and some quiet. I hadn’t had much time alone with him since the night before, when he’d been so open and honest with me that I’d had a silent panic attack and fled. However, I’d awakened this morning with a promise to myself. A gift, actually. For the rest of the month, regardless if it was only the Montana air that had rendered us newly open to each other, I would let it be. I would let Knox in. Enjoy our time together, even if it was fleeting, which I felt strongly it was. Knox Hartley was not about to become permanently enamored with me simply because he now knew what I’d done all those years ago. Again, my least favorite word popped into my mind—owe. The idea of him being nice because he felt like he owed me something was absolutely too horrid to think about, so I would choose not to.

I left Knox by the fire with his guitar and ordered a glass of wine for me and a Jack for Knox from the young lady at the front desk. She promised to bring it over from the bar.

“I ordered drinks,” I said to him as I sat on the couch before the fire.

“You’ve recovered fully from your one night bender?”

“Very funny,” I said. “And I’ll only be having one glass.”

I would not be repeating my behavior from the other night.