Page 59 of Rebel Moon

“No, I just felt like a drink, and you usually like one this time of night.”

I sat next to him, but didn’t look at him. What was going on with me? I wasn’t at all sure, other than the night had been a bit overwhelming.

“Thank you for the beer, but I’d like something else at the moment.” He hauled me onto his lap and kissed me, which swiped all coherent thought from my mind. A few minutes later, we parted and I slipped back into my own chair.

“I want to stop hiding,” Knox said, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. “I don’t care if everyone knows about us. In fact, I want them to.”

Panic rose in my chest, making it hard to breathe. “Um. Let’s talk it through.”

“You don’t want to?”

“It’s not that exactly. It’s that I think we should be very deliberate about what we do here and how it affects things when we get home.”

“Deliberate. That sounds like a P.R. plan.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Knox said. “I’m sensing some hesitation.”

“We have to be honest with ourselves. Is this a Montana thing? Or a real thing?”

“You want me to answer?”

“Sure,” I said.

“For me, this is a real thing. One that I’d like to pursue long after we’re done here at the ranch. What about you?”

“I’m … I’m …” I trailed off, my eyes stinging. “This is not at all what I expected to happen this month, and I’m not sure totally sure what I think.”

“Okay, that’s fair. It’s all happened fast, so I get that.”

Regardless of what he said, I could hear the hurt in his voice, and it made me feel sick to my stomach.

“It’s just that I haven’t been myself here,” I said. “This is vacation Madeleine.”

“Mindy Sue,” he said softly. “The part of you that remembers how to have fun. To enjoy life instead of managing it.”

“Knox, I think you might be falling for Mindy and, honestly, she’s not really available. She’s supposed to be long since buried.”

“But she’s not totally, is she?”

“Apparently not.” Tears flooded my eyes, making the fire blurry. “I’m scared. I’m scared she’s going to come back and ruin everything I’ve built. I know, that sounds completely unhinged.”

He was already up, grabbing a box of tissues.

“Be careful,” I said. “You’re going to hurt your ankle again.”

He returned, tugging a tissue from the box but, instead of handing it to me, he dabbed at my cheeks himself, his gaze soft. “It’s okay. I’m fine. And you’re fine too. I might be getting a little ahead of myself here. And I’m scaring you off, which is the last thing I want to do.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

He gave me what looked like a tired smile. “Don’t be. I’ll back off. I was planning on seducing you tonight, but it sounds like I should put a hold on that.”

He was keeping his tone light, but I could see how hard he was working to do so.

“I want that,” I said softly. “I want you. In the worst way. I just don’t trust that the side of me that wants you is the side to listen to.”

He closed his eyes briefly as a wave of pain traveled across his face. “Okay, I’m going to leave now.”