Page 50 of Coming Home to Inishbeg Cove

‘That’s good. I’m happy for you.’

‘Yeah.’ I tried to sound brighter than I felt.

‘You don’t look too happy.’

‘I guess I feel a bit ... strange. Spending the summer in the village has been lovely. I’d forgotten how special this place is. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m going to miss it. But I guess I can’t put it off forever...’

‘Sometimes a little recharge is almost as good as a fresh start.’

I nodded, feeling my heart swell. He was being so understanding of my situation. ‘But I think that spending time in the village again has changed me ... I can’t explain it.’

‘I think I can…’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I think that having some time and space to think has allowed the old Penny to emerge.’

I smarted. ‘I’m still me, Tadgh.’ The wind seemed to sweep the words out of my mouth, and I instantly regretted being so defensive.

‘You know that’s not what I’m saying. I just meant you’ve changed over the summer. I hardly recognised you when we met on the beach that morning – you were so different from how I remembered you as a teenager, but over the last few months I’ve watched you slowly come back to the girl I remember.’

I couldn’t help smiling.

‘When we kissed that day…’ he continued.

‘Please—’ I said, putting up my hand to stop him. ‘I should never have done that.’ I had been feeling increasingly guilty over the last few days about betraying Joe. How had I been unfaithful to my husband? Surely, despite all Joe’s faults, he didn’t deserve that? The shame was something I would have to live with forever.

‘You can’t deny there’s still something between us – there always has been, Penny.’

I felt my heart beat a little faster. Suddenly the roar of the sea seemed to fade into the background, as if someone had turned down a volume dial.

‘Maybe you’re right,’ I said carefully, ‘but I’m still married, and I need to give my marriage another shot.’ I needed to be loyal to Joe. I paused before adding, ‘I-I love Joe.’

His gaze shifted out across the steel-grey horizon as he nodded. ‘Then I wish you the best of luck. I really do. You might not believe me, but I only want you to be happy.’

‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘I really appreciate that.’

We stood awkwardly for a few moments, letting the roar of the sea fill the silence left behind by our words. Everything had already been said.