Page 38 of Family Secrets in Inishbeg Cove

‘Sure,’ Madeleine said, getting up and steadying herself on her crutches. She was moving around a lot faster on them these days compared to when she first got them.

‘We’ll be right outside if you need us.’ Faith forced a smile to reassure her sister before following her mother.

‘I wonder what that was all about?’ Faith asked as soon as they were in the corridor together. ‘Why did the doctor need to talk to Lucy alone? I have a bad feeling about this…’

‘I didn’t like it either.’ Madeleine grimaced. ‘Why would she ask us to leave unless it was something serious?’

‘Try not to worry, Mum,’ Faith said, even though her own brain was doing a loop of all the worst-case scenarios.

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Blood whooshed and rang in Lucy’s ears and her brain spun in panic. Why had the doctor asked her mother and Faith to leave? And why was she standing before her looking so worried? Was she about to give Lucy bad news – some kind of life-changing diagnosis?

‘Lucy, how are you feeling?’ Dr Cauldwell asked in a tone laced with concern. Her voice sounded thin, like stretched elastic, as though she was holding something back.

‘I-I’m fine,’ she replied as brightly as she could, hoping to stave off the bad news the doctor wanted to break to her.

‘I’m sure you got a fright tonight, but I think we might have found out why you collapsed,’ she said in a measured tone.

‘Have you?’ she asked, feeling petrified about what she was going to be told.

‘When was your last period, Lucy?’

‘I-I’m not sure … it’s been a few weeks…’ She racked her brain, trying to remember. Usually she knew her cycle to the day, but in the trauma of leaving Kyle and then losing Elizabeth, she had lost track. ‘Maybe even a couple of months. They’re not very regular.’

‘Well, you fainted this evening because you’re pregnant. Sometimes blood pressure can dip a little in the early weeks, which seems to be what happened to you this evening.’

Lucy was stunned. Those were not the words she had expected to hear. Was she still unconscious and this was a dream? Maybe she was under a general anaesthetic, and this was a hallucination or some kind of sick joke?

‘Pr-pregnant,’ she stuttered. ‘But that’s impossible…’

Dr Cauldwell smiled. ‘I assure you that you are. I’d estimate that you’re around seven or eight weeks, but an obstetrician will confirm that in due course.’

Lucy began to cry as the shock overwhelmed her.

Dr Cauldwell sat down on the end of the bed. ‘Is this an unplanned pregnancy?’ she asked sympathetically. ‘If it is, then don’t panic because you have options. You’re under twelve weeks so there’s still time to decide what you want to do.’

‘No, no, it’s not that…’ she said quickly. She didn’t want Dr Cauldwell to utter another word. How could she ever consider doing anything like that to her much-longed-for baby, even if the circumstances were far from ideal? ‘I’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last three years,’ she explained. ‘We even did IVF and it didn’t work.’

The doctor broke into a smile. ‘Well, this is good news then, isn’t it?’

Just a few weeks ago, the news would have been the only thing Lucy wanted to hear, but now? Instead of being overjoyed, she felt deflated and confused. How many times had she over-analysed every twinge and possible symptom to work out if it might mean she was pregnant? And now it had happened, and she hadn’t even realised! And this was supposed to be a happy occasion. She had spent so much time yearning to hear these words but she had pictured it so differently. She had always imagined hearing this news with Kyle by her side: they would be holding hands, crying tears of joy, not like this. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Why did life have to be so difficult? she lamented. Why did she finally get something she had desired with every fibre of her being, only to be doing it without the man she loved by her side? Her marriage was over, and she wasn’t hopeful it could be salvaged – even by something as momentous as this. And she was only in the early weeks; there were so many things that could still go wrong. What if she told Kyle that she was pregnant and they reunited, only for her to lose the baby? Where would that leave them? She wanted him to be by her side because he loved her, not out of obligation.

‘I know it’s a lot to process,’ Dr Cauldwell said sympathetically. ‘Do you want me to call your mother and sister back in?’

She nodded tearfully, desperate to see a friendly face. ‘Yes, please.’

The doctor nodded and left the room and soon after Madeleine and Faith hurried back in.

‘Lucy, what on earth’s the matter?’ Madeleine rushed over, ashen with panic upon seeing her daughter’s tearful face.

‘Are you okay?’ Faith asked, hurrying after her.

‘I-I’m pregnant,’ Lucy sobbed.

‘You’re pregnant,’ Madeleine repeated in disbelief. ‘Wow, but … that’s brilliant news!’

‘Oh my God, sis!’ Faith squealed. ‘Did you have any idea?’