Page 74 of The Heartbreak Hotel

“With my ex, yeah. I wanted it to work with us so badly, but thinking about it now, I was just scared of being alone. I tried to force it, even though it wasn’t working. But now…” She swallowed, her pulse quickening. “I know what I want.”

The flames danced along the white tiles, bending their shadows and listening in.

“And what’s that?” Riley asked in a breathless whisper.

Ella was all too aware of her heart drumming against her ribcage, of the notion of laying herself bare in the arms of someone she cared so deeply for. And what doing that would mean.

But it didn’t seem the right moment to say it. Not after the emotional day that Riley had had. She wanted it to be perfect, not tainted by the anniversary or Riley’s ex-girlfriend.

But just like people, life could never be perfect, either. She couldn’t wait for the perfect moment because a perfect moment didn’t exist.

“I don’t want to scare you,” she started, brushing Riley’s knuckles. “I know you’ve had a rough few days, and I don’t want to add to that. And I’m leaving soon. I know how crazy it all seems, and I know it’s complicated, but…” She blew out a breath, rippling the water around them. “What I want, is you.”

There. She’d said it. She exhaled again, feeling a weight lifted.

Riley kissed her neck, and Ella melted into a fit of giggles, splashing the water. She turned her face to meet her lips in a soft kiss, but Riley pulled back, her finger tracing Ella’s mouth.

“Even after everything I’ve told you?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m a hypocrite, Ella. All the talk about letting go and forging new paths, yet here I am, crumbling every year over something I should’ve probably got over by now.” Her arms tensed. “All this talk about going after what we want, about what will make us happy, and yet I’m terrified of it. That doesn’t bother you?”

“The fact you’re not a perfect, mistake-free human? Of course not. Riley, we all have a past. We all have weaknesses. I’m not going to judge you for that.” She swivelled in the tub so she could face her, their limbs slipping together. Riley caught her arms to stop Ella’s head from going under the water, and they shared a laugh. “I want to know all of the things that make you you. Even the ugly parts. Especially those. And it’s actually comforting to hear you’re also scared, because I am, too. I want you, Riley. Even though it’s messy and complicated, my heart just wants you. Do you know how scary that is?”

“I do.” Her eyes studied Ella’s face, and she moved a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Ella released a breath, flopping her head forward and pressing her hands against Riley’s chest, feeling the strong thumping of her heart. Riley adjusted her legs, so Ella was lying on top of her, those blue eyes dark and dreamy pools in the candlelight.

She made circles over Riley’s freckled skin. “The pressing question is, what are we going to do once this week is over?”

Riley’s face fell, and Ella’s heart along with it.

“I’ve always struggled to think about the future.” She moved her hands to Ella’s back. “After what happened with Elodie, I never wanted to get my heart broken like that again, so I just…stopped. What was the point in planning for something, when it could all be ripped away in one instant? It was better to focus on the present. Take it day by day. That’s all I’ve been doing ever since, really.”

Ella’s throat tightened. If Riley didn’t see a future, then…what did that mean?

“I used to be fine with that,” Riley continued. “Fine with all of it. But ever since I met you, Ella…that blurry, pixelated image of the future has started to get clearer. I want you too—”

Ella kissed her, and Riley pulled them closer together. Sparks erupted in Ella’s belly as those soft lips melted into hers, wet hands gripping her neck. The water sloshed all around them, and they broke apart, laughing. She couldn’t believe they’d had this conversation in the bath.

But Riley’s next words were the most surprising.

“At the end of the week, I’m going to tell Senhor Arenoso.”

Ella’s mouth fell open. “What? But…won’t you lose your job?”

Riley nodded. “Yes. But it’s okay. I’m going to leave Sandy Springs.”

“Leave? What? Why?” Out of all the things they’d said tonight, Riley leaving the island was one thing Ella couldn’t comprehend. “You love it here.”

“I know, but it’s time.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

Riley brushed her cheek. “You’re not. It’s my decision.”

This time, Riley was the one to press her lips to Ella’s. They fell into the water, creating a big splash and extinguishing a few of the candles. Ella didn’t care. Had she really heard Riley right?