Page 160 of The Love Operation

“How’d the meeting go?” Isaac asks—in the middle of the hallway, broad daylight.

We don’t have to hide anymore, but it still feels like we shouldn’t be too open either.

“They seemed receptive,” I say. “But I don’t know. HR’s probably going to recommend against me, just to make a point.”

“I’m sorry it turned out this way. I know how much you wanted that position. But hey—maybe this means we’ll finally have more time together.”

His smile is hopeful, like he’s trying to help me see the bright side here, but I know they’re giving him a hard time too.

“Thanks for the optimism,” I say. “But don’t count me out yet. They haven’t formally disqualified me. And if I had to guess, they’ll let me go through with the upcoming interviews and presentations in July. At least that’s what I asked for—to be judged on my merits.”

He nods. “Then we wait. Will you have dinner with me?”

As I agree, my phone buzzes. I pull it from my breast pocket.

Benedict: How are you today?

It’s simple. Sweet. And sends my heart into an arrhythmia.

“Is that the hospital?” Isaac asks, hopeful.

I won’t lie to him. I don’t want to hide anything anymore. “No.”

His face shifts. “It was him, wasn’t it?”

“If you mean Benedict, then yes. He asked how I’m doing.”

“You said you two talked. You got your closure?”

“I did,” I say. “But . . .” I can’t finish. I don’t know how to say it.

“But what?” His jaw tightens. When I don’t speak, he answers for me. “You still have feelings for him, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Isaac.”

“So what are you saying . . . You’re in love with both of us?”

I close my eyes, knowing that what I’m about to say isn’t what he expects or wants. Then I open my eyes and say it. “Yes.”

He tilts his head back, blinking hard. Several moments pass before he looks at me again, and the look in his eyes is all disappointment and quiet devastation.

“Cordelia, I want to be with you,” he says. “But I’ve been in this situation before, and . . . I need someone who chooses me.” He pauses. Then, barely audible, “Please choose me.”

My chest fractures.

I hate this. Hate standing here with two hearts in my hands like I don’t know how to hold either one of them. I’ve never wanted to hurt someone the way I’ve been hurt. But here I am—on the edge of becoming the thing I feared most.

“I know it’s not fair,” I whisper. “But can we finish this conversation over dinner?”

His eyes search mine. “Depends. I can’t have dinner with you if all you’re going to do is break up with me.”

The pain on his face is one I know too well.

Whatever the cause, Benedict hurt me like this. And now I’m the one doing the damage. “I’m not going to break up with you,” I hear myself say, and my respiratory rate instantly increases.

Isaac studies me, hopeful but wary. “Okay, then I’ll see you tonight.”

I nod because I can’t bring myself to say anything else. If I open my mouth, I’ll cry. And I’m afraid they won’t be tears of joy.