Page 85 of The Woman I’ve Become

I stand.

Julia does the same. “What’re you doing?” She glances toward the stairs as if she might have to shout for Alicia.

“I need to use the bathroom. You want to go with me?”

I don’t know how long we’ve been talking, but it feels like hours. I head for the entry hall and the powder room there. I hear Julia’s uneven gait behind me. When I go inside I wait to see what she plans to do. It’s not like I can pull down my jeans with her watching. She stands in the doorway but turns her back.

Thank God. I grab the handgun and lay it carefully on the floor between the toilet and the wall. Then I lower my jeans and settle onto the seat. I sigh as the urine starts to flow. I watch as she leans into the doorframe as if standing in one place is difficult or maybe she isn’t strong enough to stand for a long period.

Too soon to tell.

I grab the gun and yank up my jeans. Eyes on her, I zip and tuck the gun before flushing.

She turns to watch as I wash my hands. “What?” I demand.

“Alicia said you have scars.”

“Mostly on my back.” That was his preferred place to leave marks.

She remains in the doorway as I turn, ready to exit.

For a moment I think she’s going to speak, then she does an about-face and walks away.

“I need water,” I say as I head to the kitchen.

By the time I reach the large room with its wall of windows that look out over the lake, she is right next to me.

“I always did love this view,” she says as she moves toward the windows.

I select a glass and set it on the counter. There are knives in the drawer closest to me. I could grab one and stab her to death before she could stop me. I’m certain that even in my current out-of-shape condition I could take her. But then I might miss where this big plan is headed. I figure it’s going to be a hell of a finale.

Instead of running or injuring her, I fill my glass with chilled water from the refrigerator’s dispenser. I drink slowly, telling myself that the water will help. But it won’t. The pain that lingers even three months into healing doesn’t care if I’m hydrated.

Alicia bursts into the room, the file in her hand. “She’s telling the truth.” She spreads the papers and photos over the sleek marble island top. “It’s all here. All of it. If this Casey guy is coming, we’re in deep shit.”

Satisfaction almost makes me smile.

Julia scans the irrefutable evidence. She looks to me. “What do you suggest we do?”

How paradoxical that she’s seemingly ready to listen now. The answer is that I know exactly what we need to do, but I don’t really want to discuss it in front of Alicia. She has no skin in this game. She’s only here for the money. I can’t risk my words coming back to bite me in the ass.

A perfect excuse to send her out of the house occurs to me. “Helen has been tied up in her SUV for hours. Alicia, will you please bring her to the house. We’re going to need her. You can explain that you were only trying to protect the three of us. We’ll back you up.”

She may or may not believe that line of bullshit, but it’s the best I’ve got at the moment.

Alicia looks suspicious. “Don’t worry,” I assure her. “We’re all in this together now. If one goes down, we all do.”

“How are we going to explain this?” She gestures first to me and then to Julia.

“For now,” I say with a look toward Julia, “we should keep things as they have been. It’ll be easier.”

Julia hesitates a moment. “You can introduce me as Wendy,” she says to Alicia. “We’ll keep it simple.” She looks to me then. “For now.”

Alicia nods and heads out. Thank God. I walk to the sink and reach for the cabinet where aspirins and the like are stored. I pop two in my mouth and wash them down. When I turn around, Julia is watching me again.

“You should be worried,” I say. “You think you can trust her, but she and her boyfriend have already killed for this once.”

“She only wants the money. What happened to Eleanor was her boyfriend’s idea. It was a mistake I should have prevented, but I was in no condition to really control the situation at the time.”