Page 225 of Feralheart

Completely? I asked in my mind.

Enough to survive.

That wasn’t much comfort, though I shared it with the others.

“We don’t have to be whole,” Fen said, though his voice carried doubt even as he said it.

I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him.

I wasn’t sure I did.

Eventually, I was able to stand and walk away without being yanked backward. I ducked into my tent, and Lyndie joined me, dropping down onto her bedroll beside mine.

We’d sleep in our leathers.

Fen and Reece shared goodnights and then Reece’s tent flap rustled. He settled inside with a groan.

Sleep wouldn’t come. I lay on my bedroll, staring at the tent ceiling. Fen was still awake, though I sensed he’d moved away. He was somewhere near the river.

Lyndie kept tossing and turning. Reece had dropped into exhausted sleep the moment he’d lain down.

I gave up after twenty minutes and crawled back outside.

Can’t sleep? Selira asked.

Too much in my head.

Too much in all heads. Bond makes thinking loud.

She was right. Even when I closed my eyes, the others were right there. Lyndie’s restless turning. Reece’s shallow breathing. And Fen’s stillness that wasn’t actually rest.

Will it always be this loud? I asked.

Be much quieter soon.

There was comfort in that. We’d learn to handle this without drowning in it.

I passed both dragons lying curled together, continuing toward the river where I could vaguely see Fen sitting.

He looked up when I approached.

I felt the exact moment his thoughts shifted to what might happen during the final trial. He wasn’t afraid of dying. He feared watching me die and being unable to stop it. The thought carved through our connection with such painfilled clarity I gasped.

When his eyes found mine, I knew he’d felt my answering terror. That I’d survive and he wouldn’t. That I’d have to watch him fall and keep flying because the trial wouldn’t stop for grief.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I said.

“You mean the way you’re looking at me?”

“You’re already mourning me.”

His jaw worked. “I can feel what you’re thinking. You’re doing the same thing.”

“What I’m trying to focus on is how to keep you alive,” I said. “Knowing you’ll throw yourself in front of every danger that comes my way. I can feel you now. Almost as well as inside the drowning trial. You’re already calculating which risks you’ll take so I don’t have to. And I’m doing the same thing.”

I dropped down beside him, leaning into his side.

“We’re going to tear ourselves apart trying to save each other,” I said.