Page 36 of Tell Me What you Think

Olga's cheeks light up like Christmas lights as she looks everywhere but at her friend.

"God, Olga, just say it," Silvia demands, losing patience.

"I kissed her."

She confesses it so quietly that the noise of the bar swallows it whole.

"Sorry, what?"

"I kissed her," she repeats, a little louder. "Marina. I kissed her in her office before New Year's."

Silvia freezes, her glass suspended halfway to her mouth. She sets it back down on the table with great care, like she's holding a live grenade and not a pint glass.

"I'm sorry, I think I just had a stroke." Her friend points to her own head. "Say that again, but look me in the eye this time."

Olga would love for a black hole to open up beside her and swallow her whole.

"I kissed Marina. On the mouth. It was an impulse, something stupid. We were working really close together at her desk and she turned toward me… I don't know what happened to me, Silvia, I swear. I'd had the thing with my cousin in my head for days, this idea that I had to fight for what I wanted, and instead of saying anything, I just went for it and kissed her."

Silvia's laugh makes half the bar turn to look at them, which only makes Olga want to disappear faster. It's a long, hysterical laugh, full of disbelief, and Olga has to fan her face to shake off the sudden wave of heat washing over her.

"Sorry." Silvia dabs the corners of her eyes. "It's just — God, Olga. You're unbelievable. You've been head over heels for Marina for two years without even working up the nerve to ask if she wants a coffee, and your first move is to plant a kiss on her mouth in her own office?" She puts her hands on top of her head, stunned. "I think I've said this before, but your brain genuinely fascinates me. Someone should study it."

"I know," Olga groans in frustration. "I've been wanting to die ever since."

"Okay, let's not be dramatic." Silvia straightens up in her chair, more serious now. "What happened next? How did she react?"

"How do you think? She just stood there, staring at me with those blue eyes of hers, barely blinking."

Olga tells her the rest: the moment she panicked and started begging her boss to forget what had happened, scrambling for flimsy excuses to explain what she'd done. She explains that Marina agreed after a few seconds that felt like forever, and that she bolted out of the office and out of the building. She talks about how strange the next time they saw each other was, the awkwardness, and that moment in the elevator as they were leaving, when Marina came up behind her and whispered that it had only been a meaningless kiss, to forget about it so things wouldn't be so uncomfortable. Olga has turned those words over and over in her head without making sense of why Marina hadn't gotten angry — which is what seemed logical to her — though her logic has been leaving a lot to be desired lately.

Silvia listens carefully and doesn't interrupt once, doesn't laugh or make faces of disbelief either, even though she's completely floored. When her friend finishes, she takes one last sip of her beer and raises her hand to order two more before turning her full attention back to Olga.

"Okay, let me recap so I've got this straight. You kiss her, she freezes — which is normal. Then you beg her to forget it and she says fine. Is that right?"

"Well, I think she was being kind about it, I was really nervous and—"

"There's more." She cuts her off with a wave of her hand. "She agrees to forget it, fine, but a week later she goes on a work trip with you and acts like nothing happened. She has dinner with you, walks with you, tells you personal things you won't tell me, and falls asleep next to you on the plane."

"Lots of people fall asleep on planes," Olga murmurs, a little dazed.

Silvia ignores her and keeps going.

"Marina saves you from your own clumsiness in the middle of the street so you don't crack your skull on the pavement, and then she doesn't let go."

"And she looked at my mouth," Olga blurts out without thinking, and her friend's eyes go wide. "That's not that weird, is it?" she backtracks quickly. "I mean, we were really close, there wasn't much else to look at."

Silvia tilts her head slightly and gives her a dry look.

"Come on, Olga. I'm not in your shoes, but if one of my assistants kissed me out of nowhere, even if I were the most understanding person in the world, the first thing I'd do is put some distance between us. I'd be polite about it, obviously, because there's no need to humiliate anyone, but I'd make sure there were other people in meetings, I'd leave the door open when I was alone with her — you know, keep things airy." She waves her hand. "That's the normal response. What doesn't make sense to me is that you ask her to forget it, she says fine, and she never once asks you why you did it."

"I asked her not to," Olga insists.

"That's not the point. Marina didn't get where she is by being agreeable and doing what she's told — she's there because she's a shark, and sharks attack. But for some reason I can't quite figure out, she protects you. What I'm trying to say is that based on everything you've told me, her reaction is not the reaction of a woman who's uncomfortable. It's the reaction of a woman who, for whatever reason, doesn't want to lose what she has with you. You should be asking yourself a lot of questions, Olga, because when it comes to spotting something off in a document you're razor-sharp, but when it comes to spotting it in your own life, you're as oblivious as they come."

Olga opens her mouth to defend herself, to say what she always says — that Marina is like that with everyone, that she's naturally warm and friendly, that it doesn't mean anything — but the words die on her lips before they come out, because maybe she really should ask herself whether it's normal that Marina let slide something that could have cost Olga her job. Then her phone buzzes and her attention snaps to it when she sees it's a message from her lawyer.

Hey, Olga. The property registry extract and the last will certificate came in yesterday afternoon. Monday I have an errand at a courthouse near your office — want to grab lunch and I'll tell you everything in person? That way you don't have to come all the way out to Esplugues.