Page 104 of White Noise

The problem is that awake Saga is always interfering with the result.

She anticipates, lies, deliberately holds herself still, and turns fear into anger because anger feels easier for her to control.

Sleep takes most of that away.

Her body doesn’t know it is supposed to hide from me.

For the first time, I get to see what is underneath all the noise.

I lower my hand until the heat coming off my skin reaches her through the thin fabric covering her back.

Her pulse changes again, and this time I feel it without touching her at all.

Not through my fingers.

Through the signal.

I stay still, concentrating on the rhythm until I can separate it from everything else moving through the room.

Her heartbeat, and her breathing.

The tiny electrical responses running beneath her skin whenever I let my frequency move closer.

Fuck.

Another controlled pulse moves through the mattress.

Saga shifts beneath the blanket, one knee drawing higher while a quiet breath leaves her, warmer and less even than the last.

The response sends a harder surge through me than I expect.

I don’t want her helpless.

That would get boring fast.

No I want her conditioned.

I want silence to feel wrong after enough time with my frequency inside it.

For ordinary touch to feel flat.

I want every fucking toy she owns to become a pathetic little imitation of something her body has already learned to recognize before her pretty little head catches up.

Love has fuck-all to do with it.

Humans love each other until they get bored, or offered something better.

They build entire lives around the word and still lie, cheat, leave, and tear each other apart the second wanting something becomes inconvenient.

I don’t need something that fragile from Saga.

Need is harder to kill. It survives hatred, and hatred, I already have plenty of.

My gaze drops over her again as another faint current passes through the room and her body answers it without waking.

If I do this right, one day she won’t need to hear static to know I’m there.

Her body will tell her first, and she won’t be able to do shit about it.