Page 4 of Soothing Little Sylmen

We parted ways, and within seconds I had a text message with detailed instructions of what to do. It had to be something she must have copy-pasted from somewhere on her phone, because I highly doubted her fingers could type that fast. I had to scroll several times before getting down to the link.

Knowing it would be better for me to fill this all out on my computer, I put the phone down and focused on my clothes. It took another half hour, but I finally got everything put away and then I could see my bed. My luscious, comfortable bed that I had missed so dearly while I had been sleeping on couches and in studios and on hotel beds while on tour.

It was tempting to lie down, to sink into the comfort of it, to picture the restful sleep I would finally get. But I had made a vow to do what I said I would. I would fill out the forms.

I went downstairs through my spacious condo and into my office. When the single I’d helped with hit big, one of the first things I’d done was purchase a home with the money. It was meant to be a safe, stable place for me to come back home to. Though “home” was stretching it a bit. While it was beautifully decorated, it didn’t feel like mine. There should have been toys and blankets strewn around that my Little had left out. An organized pantry with snacks that my boy loved. There should have been a playroom where I could endlessly spoil him.

I had none of that. Just a basic living room, dining room, kitchen, an office, a storage room that really would have been a guest bedroom, and then the upstairs.

In my office I booted up my computer, then went about filling out the forms. The questions were detailed, ranging from the most basic knowledge to the deeper kinks and requests. There were several that I had no interest in. Pain wasn’t something I enjoyed giving or receiving. I wasn’t into sharing either. Whoever was my partner would be the person who was with me and only me. I was possessive that way. I hoped my partner would be too.

When I finally finished the document, I sat back and stared at the screen for a long time. The submit button was right there. All I had to do was click it. It was easy—finger on the mouse, press the button. It would be sent off into the void of the internet to Master Derek. I would be done. I could text Amelia and say it was complete.

Easy peasy.

Except my heart raced and my palms were sweaty. My mind ran through all of the possibilities, both positive and negative. This could be the start of something amazing. It could be me finding my forever person.

Or it could be horrible and I’d regret everything. Only time would tell. But I did need to try. I wasn’t a quitter. If something didn’t work, I would reevaluate and try a new way. It was part of my songwriting process and also my life motto.

Once I clicked the button, I stood from my desk and left the room. Staring at the screen any longer was just going to drive me insane. My stomach growled right as I reached the kitchen. All of that laundry and thinking had made me work up an appetite. I put together a sandwich with anything I could find in the fridge—one of those everything-but-the-kitchen-sink situations.

I was taking a big bite when my phone went off.

Amelia

Master Derek is working on it!

I shook my head, smiling, as I replied with a thumbs up. She would probably hate it, but I didn’t have the energy to really dive in with her. When I got no response, I figured we were good.

I stood in my kitchen eating and wondering what my future was going to look like. What did the Ranch look like in person? The website gave me a glimpse of things, though it was all still very hush-hush, designed in a way to keep people safe and connected while also having everything you could think of under the sun. At least that’s what Amelia said.

It would be nice to get away, to take time out and see what relaxation felt like. In the years since that first big single I had been going non-stop. My schedule was full—every day of the year was something. I even worked on Christmas, and it had been fine because I had no one to spend it with anyway. All of my family had passed, and the few friends I had made in high school and college were all settled down with families.

Plus it wasn’t like I could talk to them about my preferences. Even if they would set me up with someone, it would be awkward. So I lived a life alone, only keeping up with my work colleagues and the people who hired me to help with their music.

Maybe Rawhide Ranch would provide more than just an experience in the kink lifestyle. Maybe I could connect with more people like Amelia. Maybe find some friends—people I could keep in touch with long distance. It sounded like a life-changing place. I truly hoped that it changed mine for the better.

Chapter Three

Sylmen

I navigated the car to the front gate and froze. This was Rawhide Ranch.

It took everything I had not to let my jaw drop, put the car in reverse, and rush away. This couldn’t be where I was supposed to go. Ralphie had tried to warn me. He’d told me the place was larger than life. I’d taken it as a metaphor. When in reality, I should have asked the square footage of the place—or maybe actually the acreage. There were various buildings as far as the eye could see.

From my point of view, I was overwhelmed. This was everything I had wanted, everything I dreamed of. And at the same time, it was terrifying. What if I went in there and they didn’t accept me? What if the idea I had of them being inclusive was just wishful thinking?

I shook myself from the negativity. Ralphie had told me that everything would be fine. He wouldn’t lie about this.

After proving my identity to the guard at the gate, I drove to the main building based off of the description I had been given in my confirmation email. Master Derek was precise, laying out the rules and reminding me of what I had agreed to when I signed up to come.

He was also intimidating. I knew that he had a Little of his own. Sadie, according to what Ralphie told me, was a ball of energy and constantly getting into trouble because she was mischievous. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to meet her and play pranks or keep my distance and observe.

Was I the type of Little who wanted to joke around? Did I have the ability to brat?

I didn’t think so, but I wasn’t really sure.

After I parked and climbed out of the car, I was greeted by a very tall, imposing man who fit the description Ralphie had given to a tee. This was Moses. Ralphie had also told me that Moses was an institution on the Ranch, was Master Derek’s right-hand man, was incredibly kind, and was a fierce protector of all Littles. The fact that he was also deaf had seemed almost an afterthought. With me being nonverbal, our interaction could have been awkward, but somehow it just wasn’t. Moses smiled and I smiled back. When he nodded and went around to the trunk, I followed to open it, and with him carrying my bags, we went inside the hotel-like structure. My eyes trailed over everything, taking it in with fascination. I couldn’t decide if I was surprised at the lack of obvious Little items everywhere or if I was mesmerized by the fact of how professional it all was. Either way, it was a lot.