Page 9 of Soothing Little Sylmen

When I reached the lobby, the smell of pancakes, sausage, and bacon was so strong my mouth quite literally watered. I was soon seated at a small table in the cafe and given another menu. As I perused my options, I thought about what all I wanted to do today. It would be my first full day on the Ranch. And while I did have the intention to go see my friend, I also wanted to see the spaces designated for Littles.

During the process of filling out all my forms and signing an NDA, I realized that the best part about Rawhide Ranch was the freedom to be myself. Though I didn’t know exactly what that entailed, I was going to do whatever it took to find out. And that meant opening up. It meant putting myself into positions where I could explore and regress to my heart’s content.

The pancakes were just as fluffy as I’d hoped, and the syrup sweet enough to make my heart race. I ate every last bite, and I would have licked the plate clean had there not been other people arriving right as I finished. I glanced around at them, noting some were still in pajamas and others were in full-blown Little gear—onesies and slippers. There was even a person with bunny ears on their head.

I smiled to myself. What would it be like to have bunny ears and to be dressed however I wanted? The outfit I had on was tame, and until I figured everything out, this was my best bet.

As I exited the cafe, I ran into the woman I had seen standing with my mystery man the day before. She startled when we nearly bumped into each other, her hand pressing to her chest.

“Goodness me.”

I smiled at her. A blush came to my cheeks as I thought about the man she’d been with, about how if I had my voice I probably would have blurted out questions about him. She stared at me almost like she could read my mind, even though I wasn’t speaking or messaging her.

She smiled softly and held her hand out. “It’s nice to meet you, Sylmen. My name is Amelia Grayson, but you may call me Miss Amelia. I work in the library.” I shook her hand, then dropped it, waiting to see what else she had to say. I could sense there was more to her. I was also curious how she knew who I was.

“You’re probably wondering how I know you when we’ve only just met.”

I nodded slowly, my eyes staying on her. I needed to assess any kind of tale she would give me, any hint that might lead me to the mystery man.

“I am a bit of a catch-all for gossip and news here. When new arrivals come in, people tend to get excited to have someone new to play with. Your name came up for me—partially for that, but also because Master Derek informed me that you are an avid reader. I have a vast collection of books for all ages for you. If you want to stop by later today, I would be happy to assist you.”

I pulled out my phone quickly and typed up my response. Knowing that she was the librarian took away all my reservations. I held it out so she could read it.

I would love to come to the library. Books are amazing. Thank you so much, Miss Amelia.

When she looked back at me, there was a sparkle to her eye that hadn’t been there before. “How about you come around two o’clock? Then I can make sure that I have everything pulled aside that you might enjoy. Master Derek was clear in his instructions to me about what you said were your favorite things.”

I responded with another nod, since typing would have only had me gushing further about how thankful I was. I could do that later when it was just us and I wasn’t blocking the entrance.

She patted my shoulder gently. It was a kind gesture that made me feel even more welcome. My Aunt Connie would do it sometimes, though her hand would often linger and squeeze at my shoulder like she wanted to hug me but didn’t. We were close—closer than I was with other people—but she was still hesitant at times. I think it was because she knew my past, knew that I might not be open to touch.

After years of growing up and being shown touch was a bad thing, I avoided it whenever I could. I needed to observe someone first. Needed to see if they were kind and safe before blindly trusting them.

It’s something you learn when the people who should have loved you unconditionally only see you as a burden and unworthy of affection.

Here at Rawhide, though, I felt free. I didn’t mind if someone bumped into me or placed their hand on my shoulder. I hadn’t been bothered by my friend looping his arm through mine the day before. I didn’t know what to make of it. My guard was down. I should have been more cautious, more concerned. Instead, I welcomed it all.

Amelia scooted past me with a goodbye and went to eat. I set off toward the Littles’ Wing with an even bigger pep in my step, because I had plans for later. Plans that involved one of my absolute favorite things—books.

For now, I would go see what I could find out about all the Littles. Maybe I could even get someone to walk me through the different types of regression. I knew they had classes, things that they taught, and I had been warned that the rules were really strict in the Littles’ Wing. Considering I couldn’t vocally speak, some of them didn’t apply to me—like the no cursing rule. I wouldn’t type it out either, of course.

In my Little mind I worried that typing any type of message or writing it out was going to be a problem. What if I preferred to regress to the point that I didn’t know how to communicate? How would anyone know what I wanted or needed then? How could I respond, or consent to things?

The thoughts plagued me the closer I got to the Littles’ Wing. I almost turned back because staying away would be easier. But going out on a limb and coordinating this trip, coming here, was all done in good faith. It was done to prove that I could experience something like this and not be hurt. That they would find a way to help me navigate this for whenever I found my person, my Daddy.

The space came into view and I froze in place. It turned out that all that psyching myself up hadn’t been necessary as there was no one in sight. Was there some sort of schedule I’d missed? Even as I stepped back to search for a sign that might display opening hours, a girl with long, blond curly hair bounced over. She wore something big and poofy beneath her dress that made her skirt fan out.

“Hi, my name is Lori, and you’re new!”

Her voice was angelic and sweet. It matched her appearance perfectly. I pulled out my phone and typed quickly, I’m Sylmen. I don’t talk. I waved toward my throat when she looked back up at me.

Her brow dipped for a moment before she shrugged, raising both her hands. “That’s okay. My Daddy says I talk a whole lot, so you don’t have to. I can do all of it for us. Are you little-Little, or medium Little, or Middle?” She ticked off each option on her fingers one by one.

It was my turn to shrug. Her eyes widened and she put her palms to her cheeks. “You don’t know? Are you here to find out?”

I nodded, and my lips kicked up in a smile when she started to stomp her feet and clap her hands happily. It wasn’t the reaction I expected to get from anyone, especially someone I had just met. Acceptance, agreement, maybe even curiosity—but overwhelming joy? That was different.

Lori reached her hand out, palm up. “If you take my hand, I’ll show you everything. It’s still a little early for class to start but we can pick a place and hang out until they do. I will make sure you have everything you need. And there are plenty of people here who can be like your stand-in Daddy or Mommy, depending on what you need.”