Page 57 of Offside

Ash was only half-dressed when I stormed away, heading back home before I had to be back and play on a team with him tonight. My only saving grace right now was that Sam was injured, and that I wouldn’t have to deal with him till next season.

The truth, honestly, was that I already knew I couldn't deal with him till then. I couldn’t look at his stupid face and not just feel like every cell in my body was dying because…look at him.

Sam was like…custom-made for me.

He was perfect–he was every single thing that I liked in a man. He had the sweetest green eyes, plucked right from the Northern Lights, and his cheeks were even rosy!

Like naturally!

He was adorable!

It pissed me off now.

How on earth could he be built for me layer by layer, but lie and hurt me?

I’d never let anyone that close to me before, but the one time I did, I got burned. I got burned so much worse than I could have ever imagined, and it lingered for so long…

I used to make fun of my sister when a guy would dump her, and she’d pout around for a month.

Because now, a month didn’t feel even close to long enough for me.

Chapter 26

Landon

Things did get a little better after a while.

It all seemed pretty bleak the first couple of weeks we were broken up, but now that it was almost a month in and the playoffs were going well…I mean, things were still pretty bleak, but I was eating more.

I was answering phone calls like a normal person and sleeping semi-regularly. Maybe I was still poking my head around corners and avoiding Sam if I heard him in the hall, but I felt like it was pretty standard with any breakup.

Even if I was still tearing up when I thought about missing Sam on my couch or Metal in my ear.

I would have given anything to have just a single normal day again–morning message from Metal, Sam bugging me all day at work, and then coming home to a date with Metal and the best orgasms of my life.

Honestly, any orgasm that didn’t end with me crying right now would be amazing.

I felt better in some ways, but worse in others–I just felt stuck.

It seemed like I couldn’t move on, no matter how hard I tried–like I needed to do something to allow it to happen. I even tried redownloading Mixr, just to look, but threw up when I opened it and found Metal’s profile still there.

Online and active, so at least Sam was moving on.

Yes, that stung, and no, I didn’t want to talk about it.

It just sucked right now.

We’d only just gotten home from Vancouver, beating them in the first round of the playoffs on game five. Most of the team lived in the building, so I had to keep my neutral face plastered on the whole elevator ride to my floor.

Luckily, the only teammate I had that lived on my floor was Sam.

As soon as those elevator doors were shut, I was free. I let out a heavy breath I’d been holding, and my face dropped because I was free. I’d been rooming with Sean in Vancouver, so even just two days there felt suffocating, with no privacy to release it all.

The best I got was the shower, and it wasn’t loud enough to let my crying go unnoticed, so I didn’t let it out.

My hallway was a ghost town this early in the morning, but that only made the noise a few paces down that much louder. I didn’t put any thought into the reaction, turning my head to look down the hall and find the source of the noise.

And I regretted it instantly.